pascale wowak photoblog

The Measure

I had the honor of doing a commercial shoot for my friend Kiki Fluhr, the brilliant designer behind The Measure.  Have I mentioned how lucky I am to be friends with such incredible kids clothing designers!?  She sent me two ADORABLE Valentine's Day dresses and my girl Juliet, of Maya's Curls, sent matching hair accessories to help style the shoot.  SO FAB!  The best part of all these collaborations is that Juliet, Kiki, Jayme (of Lillipops), Julie (of ZOZOBUGBABY) and I are all really close friends and so we are able to be totally in sync and mix and match as need be.  It's so delightful to be a part of such a fantastic group of creative, innovative, independant women business owners.  I'm so grateful for the amazing friendships I have developed with them over the years.  It's a major blessing in my life!  And Ellie definitely reaps the benefits of these relationships! HA! :)

Since I had two dresses to photograph, I decided to have Ellie's dear friend Emerson join us on this shoot.  I have photographed Ellie and Emerson together before (THIS POST) and these two girls are just MAGIC together.  They WORK it.  I love them!  We decided to combine the shoot with a fun playdate of baking Valentine's Day cookies and just hanging out at my itty bitty cottage home.  My kitchen gets the best light and I thought it would be fun for them to be engaged in an activity together for the shoot.  The light, while magnificent for a few minutes, quickly shifted and left me with no choice but to take the shoot outdoors (OCF was ruining the look I was trying to achieve) and into our tiny little matchbox of a backyard!  The girls still managed to stay happy and effervescent and played along.  They even came up with the idea of drawing Valentine's Day themed artwork on the "chalkboard" I had just recently mounted on the side of our shed.  It's actually just a HUGE piece of plywood I painted with chalkboard paint and my sweet neighbor affixed to the side of the shed for me.  They kept doing their artwork even when I went inside to clean the mess in the kitchen (see the shot I grabbed from inside) and then posed for a final quick series of shots of their Masterpiece just before the light completely disappeared on us!

A huge thank you to my best friend Kirsten for loaning me her beautiful Emerson and to Kiki for the dresses and Juliet for the adorable hair accessories!  Go check out The Measure and Maya's Curls if you want to find some fabulous custom made items.  I'm all about supporting mommy-run businesses!!!  Ellie's entire wardrobe is from my friend's shops!  GO HANDMADE!!!  :)

 

 

Valentine's Day - Lillipops Style!

My brilliantly talented friend Jayme of Lillipops Designs designed this new Valentine's Day themed dress for Ellie to model and me to photograph.   She could not have created a dress more suited to my Ellie Bellie.  When Ellie first laid eyes on the dress she quite literally gasped.  Then she breathlessly whispered: "I love it!" And then she quickly put on her "Business Face", got all serious, and firmly asked me: "I do get to keep it right?????"  Hahahahahaha!  Yes, baby, you get to keep this one.  This is obviously what she'll be wearing for her Valentine's Day Party at school! :)

It had been a while since I had done a commercial shoot with Ellie since I can't squeeze them in during my busy season (September-December) but it felt so good to get back into it with her.  The girl was just MADE for this stuff.  If I weren't so disgusted with what the modeling world does to a little girl's sense of self, I'd sign her up with an agent lickety split.  But, instead, she gets to be MY personal model for all my commercial gigs and we are both completely satisfied with that!  She absolutely rocked this session out.  Love my fiesty little Year of The Dragon/Scorpio girl. :)

If you want to get one of these dresses for your little girl, I suggest you order soon, they are all custom made and Valentine's Day is quickly approaching!  While you are at it, go check out everything in Jayme's shop, it's all INCREDIBLE.  She also does these amazing knit wraps for women.  I own two of them and get stopped on the street with inquiries every time I wear one out!  Just completely fabulous in every way!

Also, the two adorable hair accessories Ellie is wearing in this shoot are custom designed by another one of my uber creative friends, Juliet of Maya's Curls.  Her whole shop has everything you could possibly ever need to spice up your girl's wardrobe.  Aside from all the kiddo ones I have from doing shoots, I actually also own two of her adult hair pieces and absolutely LOVE them.  Highly recommend the Feathered Pewter Josie with Tule.  It looks soooo good!

Have I mentioned how lucky I am to be friends with the most amazing designers and creative minds!?  I've also got another shoot to edit with two dresses from The Measure Clothing Company coming up soon!  So much eye candy! SQUUUEEEEEEEEE!  :)

A frank discussion about sensuality and being "middle aged"...

I think it's time for an open discussion about being a "middle aged" woman.  As I rapidly approach my 40's, I am discovering that the world has some pretty deep seeded impressions of what it means, or what it "should" mean, to be a middle aged woman.  And these impressions are incongruent with my reality and the reality of most of my friends.  So, I think it's time to lay it all out there because it's a message that needs to be heard by the masses - or at least by the 5 people who will actually read this. :)

This past weekend I went on a mom's weekend away and hung out with 4 of the most vibrant, outrageously funny, energetic and wickedly smart women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  We are all "middle aged."  And *gasp* - alarmingly - this did not stop us from having the time of our life.   At one point during our stay at a gorgeous hotel with insanely perfect window light, I spontaneously decided to do a Boudoir shoot; as the model rather than the photographer.  It was definitely a dramatic shift for me as I'm always the one capturing these types of images, and not remotely accustomed to being in front of the camera under any circumstances, much less these.  Having said that, the only momentary awkwardness had to do with me accpeting that I would not be in control of the camera rather than the fact that I was posing semi-nude in front of 4 other women for the purpose of some really sexy images. 

After the shoot, I giddily mentioned on FB that I had done a Boudoir session, but not as the photographer.  At one point, a friend half-jokingly posted that I must be going through a mid-life crisis.   And while her comment was genuinely made in jest and with no intention of being derogatory, it still upset me insomuch that I found it aggravating that society seems to have placed some sort of arbitrary age limit to a woman being able to BE sexy, FEEL sexy and OWN her sexy.  

There ended up being a very heated debate on my FB post about "middle aged" women doing boudoir sessions and I felt that the commentary was so poignant and valid that it needed to be shared.   The assertion that any woman of a certain age must be going through some sort of "crisis" if she wants to engage in a playful boudoir session was quite firmly laid to rest.   It is my inherent belief that boudoir sessions are actually best tailored to women who have finally come to a place in their life where they are completely at ease with their body and themselves.  Quite frankly, it takes a woman who has raised a child, nursed or rocked a baby to sleep, given up sleep for years on end, cradled a sick child with her strong and capable arms and been puked on once or twice to fully appreciate what she is capable of, how truly amazing she is and how incredible her body really is.  A body which has LIVED many a year, and SURVIVED any number of situations/afflictions, and GIVEN LIFE or SUSTAINED life, is one that can be fully appreciated by its owner.  It is in part thanks to the journey of motherhood that women gain the kind of authentic and liberating self confidence that makes them utterly invincible.  We don't just THINK we are superheroes, we KNOW we are.

In the interest of sharing other people's opinions on this rather than just my own (clearly biased) appraisal of the situation, I'm going to share some excepts from the thread.  I realize that not everyone will agree with what is said here and that's perfectly fine.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion!  But I do believe we do women a tragic disservice when we box them into preconceived notions of what they can or cannot do, how they should or shouldn't behave.  One of my favorite quotes of all time is: "Well behaved women rarely make history."  Naturally, I am not encouraging illegal behavior here, but merely stating that it is sometimes necessary to go against the norm and to follow one's heart when choosing to live a healthy, happy and enriching life to its full potential.  For me personally, as I emerge from one of the most challenging transitions in my life, having intensely focused all my energies and attention onto helping my children navigate the choppy waters of a divorce, I am finding it more important than ever to make sure I am also meeting my own needs and filling my tank so that I can keep chugging along this sometimes overwhelmingly difficult path of being a single working mom.  Being able to get away for a few days and recharge my battery, have fun with my girlfriends, go dancing til dawn and OWN that part of me that is NOT a mommy is undeniably healthy and necessary.  All moms should allow themselves the right to do that.  Without worrying about being judged by anyone else, and especially not by other moms.  Ultimately, I can't help but whole-heartedly believe that Boudoir sessions were MEANT for middle aged women.   I have never felt more capable, strong, fit, in charge of my own destiny, independent, happy, sexy, healthy, fulfilled and CONFIDENT in my life than I do right now.  And when you feel that on the INSIDE, it shows on the OUTSIDE.  And that's Boudoir magic right there, baby.

"Celebrating your femininity, strength and beauty is nothing to EVER be ashamed of. I'd rather see photos of real, beautiful, wise and SEXY women who have worked their asses off for not only a great body, but for real happiness, than skinny, starved, waifish twenty-somethings that have no IDEA what it means to be a real woman."

"I think it is amazing. You have worked so hard to make healthy choice in ALL aspects of your life. I am very, very proud of you. I know the courage it took for you to get on the other side of the camera and what a great experience for both you and Julie. Beautiful art you two!"

"Quite frankly, women in their 20's just DO NOT have their shit together enough to rock out a boudoir session."

"Celebrating one's hard earned body and strong sense of self should never be classified as a midlife crisis."

"I rather enjoy being so comfortable in my own skin and at a stage in my life where I am no longer encumbered by the insecurities of inexperienced youthfulness."

"Going through a huge transition in life and having beautiful, classy, intimate photos of yourself is all part of your rebirth and celebration of the incredibly beautiful person that you are, inside AND out. If only we could all find the acceptance and appreciation for our own bodies and lives that you have found for yours!"

 

And with Valentine's Day coming up, I cannot possibly think of a better gift for a woman to give herself (and I'm sure her significant other wouldn't mind them either!) than a Boudoir session.  Isn't it about time you harnessed all that Warrior Goddess Spirit inside you and let her shine?!

 

And I'll finish up with one PG image from my session. :)

@Copyright Julie A. Martin Photography

 

 

A smidge of Portland, a touch of Tacoma and a whole lot of laughing.

This past weekend I was able to spend a few days hanging out with four fantastic friends of mine for a West Coast "convention" of sorts.  My dear friend Julie of ZOZOBUGBABY arranged this surprise trip with the intention of flying me up to Portland where I would then meet up with her and our mutual friend Amber (who was flying in from Texas) and the three of us would do a little road trip up to Tacoma to grab our third friend Lija and then all four of us would go surprise our friend Jayme who just moved out to Anderson Island up in Washington State.  We kept the plans secret for nearly TWO MONTHS but then just a few days before the trip, the Northwest was being pummeled by insane storms with flooding, snow and sheets of ice covering much of it.  To add to the dismay, Jayme's little island was without power for over a week.  So, we realized that in the interest of actually enjoying ourselves, we had to change up our plans a bit and let Jayme in on the surprise!   I still flew into Portland and got to enjoy a great evening with much laughter, hanging out with Julie, Amber and our mutual friend (and irrepressibly funny) Shannon Sewell. We then hit the road the next morning and all met up and crashed at Hotel Murano in Tacoma, WA for a couple days.   Needless to say, it was AMAZING.  The five of us are all very busy moms, some of us single working moms, some of us business owners and/or full time employees, some of us still nursing babies... so to get away from it all for 4 days was *quite* the treat!  We are also all very, oh how shall I put this..... not the most demure of women... so, yeah.  We had fun.

I took some quick headshots of all the ladies on Saturday morning in the hotel room (which was FABULOUS might I add) and then we wandered around Tacoma, hitting all the antique shops and book stores.  Threw in some wine tasting.  Ate to our heart's content without having to wolf down our food, share our meal or cut someone's up for them....  And, admittedly, there was a fair amount of alchohol consumed as well...Ha! :)   Saturday night we all went dancing at the local gay club (which everyone knows always has the best dancing and music) until the weeeeee hours of the morning.   And then we got to sleep in.  Ahhhhhhhhhh.  Heavenly.   And I even got to go in front of the camera, for a change, as the model for my friend Julie's first attempt at shooting a boudoir session!  I'll be doing a separate post about the whole experience of being IN FRONT of the camera next.

This was just the most restorative, rejuvenating and unbelievably delightful trip you could possibly imagine even though it was raining and snow was on the ground and there wasn't a beach or fruity drink with an umbrella to be seen.  The "quality" of this trip was in the company I kept and the joy of being surrounded by four wicked little comediennes who had me in stitches from morning til night.  

I'm going to post a few favorites from our mini headshots and a small collection of images I took while we wandered around Tacoma.  We actually didn't have our cameras out all that much, but when the inspiration hit, we were ready!

I'll start with Julie, who was the mastermind behind this whole trip and who made it possible for me to come up and be a part of this fabulous escape from "real life"....  if but for 4 days! :)   If you are not familiar with her ZOZOBUGBABY line of clothes (are you living under a rock?!), then you should definitely check it out!  She was just recently featured in Parenting magazine too! Go Julie!

Next was the stunning Lija.  You simply cannot take a bad picture of this gal.  She's got 1920's Hollywood starlet looks! So fab!

Next, was Jayme, whom you might know from LILLIPOPS DESIGNS.  I'll be shooting an ADORABLE Valentine's day dress she made tomorrow!  She's another awesome children's clothing designer that you MUST check out!

And last, but certainly not least, is Amber who flew all the way from Texas to join us!  She's the brains of the operation seeing as the four "artistically minded" ones in the group couldn't figure out a bill to save our lives, thank goodness for Amber!  Ha!   She also has the most contagious smile I've ever seen and if you aren't smiling ear to ear while looking at these pictures of her then there's something wrong with you.  She has the quickest wit and kept us on our toes!  A complete natural in front of the camera to say the least!

Then, just a few from our wandering ways in Tacoma.  The one huge antique store we visited, Stanford & Sons, was such a treat for someone like me whose favorite show is American Pickers..... Ha!

Tomorrow I'll do a post about being IN FRONT of the camera for a boudoir session....  :)

A little scrabble craft-love.

I've long professed my love for Pinterest.  Quite frequently, I will see a craft idea that someone came up with, be inspired by it, and create something totally different with my own spin on it. It's really a great source of inspiration and ideas!  In this particular case, I saw a "pin" using scrabble tiles to create some really cool coasters where the scrabble tiles had been used to create a series of alchohol related 4 letter words such as "beer" and "wine" (among others) and then glued into square "boards" and mod podged the final product to create the coasters.  I loved the idea (and will probably attempt it as well!) but when I saw that pin, I immediately thought about creating a pseudo-scrabble board using a set of scrabble tiles and spelling out words that have meaning to me and the kids, starting with our names and spreading out from there, organically letting words come to mind based on the available letters left.  I did a first draft on my own and liked the results but knew a second set of eyes would be beneficial so I had a friend come over and together we started over from scratch and came up with something even better than my original layout! Yeah for creative friends! :)

I then photographed our layout (my memory isn't what it used to be....) just in case my beloved kids or dogs happened to, you know, touch anything....  I then measured the layout, went to the local art store, bought a black stretched canvas board in just the right size, and diligantly super-glued the layout, tile by tile, onto the canvas.  Finally, I hung it above the entryway to my kitchen.  Admittedly, due to space constraints, I am running out of wallspace for all my ideas... and will soon have to direct my attention outdoors....

Here are two point and shoot snapshots taken late tonight (ergo: flash) just to show you all the end result.  We used words that had significant personal meaning for me and kids and I tried to use one descriptive word off each kids "letters", for example Gavin has the french word "lire" which means To Read (which absolutely captures the essence of what he loves to do more than anything in the world) and Ellie has the word "artist" which comes off her name, because that's exactly how I would describe her to someone who didn't know her.

Other words we came up with: Family, Love, Life, Always, Maison (french for house), Kooper (of course!), Joie (french for Joy), Laughter, Music (very important in this house), Create, Story (everyone has a story), Dream, Tenacious (my tenacity has helped me through many difficult times), Bloom (as in "bloom where you're planted"), and last but not least, Grateful.   I used every tile in the set.  And there's about a half dozen letters that I "created" with a black sharpie on the backside of a letter I didn't/couldn't use, so I guess that's cheating a little but, hey, my craft, my rules! :)

This was a super easy, fun, cheap craft and very personalized.  The best part was definitely coming up with the layout and if you're a fan of scrabble you'll likely be all over this like white on rice. 

Happy creating!

 

Personal Art Project

My (ex) sister in law Jill (and her boyfriend) have been helping me with this little art/furniture project for my yard.   Our dining area in our kitchen is TINY and we can only seat 3 people at our table so I really wanted a bigger table that I could leave outdoors for dinner parties and/or just to have some more space for eating outside during great weather.   Jill is quite the "picker" and scours Craig's List, and garage sales, like nobody else I know and can always find the most amazing "treasures."  Actually, they aren't even close to being treasures when she finds them.  Instead, she has this innate ability to find run down, beat up, practically destroyed pieces of furniture and turn them into AMAZING pieces.  She strips them down, fixes them up, primes and paints them and BAM!  Gorgeousness!  

So, when I told her what I was looking for, she found the most insanely cool table for me on Craig's List.  First, I absolutely love the oval shape of the table, which is somewhat unusual.  The chairs have these great curves and that awesome X back.  And the underside of the table is incredibly unique with a "leg" design I've never seen before.  She just knew it was "me" and she was totally right!

She then spent the next several weeks sanding and priming and painting the table with an indoor/outdoor paint finish.  We decided to make the chairs black and the table red.  My intention with the set was to steal my friend Agnes's creative genius and use French Comics decoupaged and Mod Podged onto the chairs.  So, Agnes generously sent me a stack of french comics which we sat through and cut out anything that grabbed our attention.  Then, we started to see some themes emerging and decided to do one theme per chair!

The first chair is a pin up/boudoir type chair, what we affectionately call The Sexy Chair.  The second chair is a Nautical theme.  The third chair is a Noir theme.  And the fourth chair is the kid chair with fun, kid friendly comics on it.   I Realize that some folks are going to object to my use of some rather risquee comics for something my children are going to be sitting their bottoms on but hey, I'm French.  We're pretty comfortable with these themes and my kids are too and it's just not a big deal in my house.  I was raised with this stuff and I turned out just fine.  And I'm choosing to raise my children with the same European sensibility to such matters as I was raised with.   Quite honestly, my kids didn't even do a double take when they saw the chairs.  They loved all 4 of them and pointed to their favorite images on each chair without batting an eye.

I'm going to first attach two pictures Jill took as she was working on the table and chairs.  We don't have a good BEFORE image because the craig's list photo is dreadful and you can't even see anything.  Just know that the table and chairs, while solid hard wood, were in AWFUL condition and what Jill did with them is nothing short of miraculous!

Then, I'll attach a collage of point and shoot pictures I took this afternoon of the finished product!  I just LOVE it and am terribly depressed that it's too cold and dark oustide for us to eat dinner out there on the table!  Lunch on the weekends though!!!  :)

SO, this is what Jill and I have been working on!  So glad it's all done.  She spent an ENTIRE day over at my house working on the decoupage/mod podging with me one day and even worked on it alone when I had to leave to pick up the kids from school! Now THAT is dedication!!! 

This was a really fun project and I can't wait to get started on my next endeavour!  I have a bunch of ideas of things I want to do...  No time right now but come January I'll be bursting at the seams with ideas!!!!

 

 

Drumroll.......

The New & Improved Backyard!

I've been a very busy little bee the past two weeks.  Every single one of my days off from work was spent tilling, digging, planting, shearing, cutting, sweeping and cleaning up that little backyard of mine.    I had our neighborhood "garden guy" come by to help me with the really hard spots (some tilling work was just too back breaking for me and I knew it would make much more sense to get help for those areas) but the rest was all me!  

I had two AMAZING friends help me pick out my plants and give me incredible direction as to what, where, how, etc.... since I have a history of killing cactus and really shouldn't be trusted with any living things....  They both assured me that I would be hard pressed to kill any of these....  that remains to be seen....

My mom came by to visit this weekend and brought down that adorable outdoor tent which she set up for the kids with a cot inside and they have been LOVING IT!  Even Kooper goes in there with them and the 3 of them play cards and read and hang out.  It's been almost an extension of their room which really helps since the usable space in their room is about the same as the tent, so if one needs a break from the other one, they can go hang out in the tent.  It's been a life saver!!!

One of the first things I noticed when I moved in where the hammock hooks along the outside shed.... so OBVIOUSLY I had to get a hammock up!  That hammock is hands down my favorite place to be.  I've only been able to enjoy 5 minutes in there since setting it up but I can tell it will be a great place for me when I have the time to enjoy it! :)

It's SO much nicer now sitting at the dinner table looking out onto this yard.  It's colorful and inviting and warm and just delightful.  It may be small but it is very cozy.  We love it.  The kids and I planted the last final touches today by planting Naked Lady bulbs that a client/friend gave me yesterday.  We can't wait to watch those bloom!  (Thanks Nancy!!!)  Kooper was happy to just nap next to us as we were doing all the hard work.  He is completely useless.   And yet we love him.  :)

For those interested in details:  All along the fence I planted morning glory vines and passion flower vines.  In front of the vines, I planted variegated elaeagnus and some butterfly attracting red flowering plants and some purple lavatera.    Under the hammock area, in the back I planted Mexican feather grass, reed grass, new zealand flax grass, a bunch of Lavender de Province, some santonila, some yellow/orange and confetti lantana.  I'm sure I'm forgetting some plants but that's the essence of it.  Everything is either native and/or highly drought tolerant and needs very little water.  I also planted a big bougainvillea in the front yard which I can't wait to watch grow.  It's my favorite vine because it reminds me of my grandma.  Her villa in Corsica was covered in Bougainvillea so I have a huge emotional attachment to that plant!

The area that is sectioned off with planter border is going to be a veggie garden, that's the next step!  I have total southern exposure in the yard all day long so the veggie garden will be happy as long as I can learn how to have a green thumb quickly. 

I'll start off with two BEFORE pictures and then the collage of AFTER pictures which I took today while we were planting the bulbs.  I just took them with my P&S so forgive the quality!

A HUGE THANK YOU to Jennifer C. and Aerin M. for all their planting help and advice!  I could NOT have done this without your help!!!!  

 

AFTER:

The Goddess of Never Not Broken

A friend shared this beautiful mythical story with me.   Let's just say it resonated deeply with me.  The concept and idea behind this Goddess is very relevant with regard to my life right now and I love the message.  I wanted to share it here on my blog in case anyone else could stand to benefit from it. I know I have gained a new sense of perspective, forgiveness and acceptance in the past week and this story helped cement all that for me.   Here's to never being not broken.  :)

Akhilandeshvari:

“Ishvari” in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In other words, The Always Broken Goddess. Sanskrit is a tricky and amazing language, and I love that the double negative here means that she is broken right down to her name.
But this isn’t the kind of broken that indicates weakness and terror.
It’s the kind of broken that tears apart all the stuff that gets us stuck in toxic routines, repeating the same relationships and habits over and over, rather than diving into the scary process of trying something new and unfathomable.
Akhilanda derives her power from being broken: in flux, pulling herself apart, living in different, constant selves at the same time, from never becoming a whole that has limitations.
The thing about going through sudden or scary or sad transitions (like a breakup) is that one of the things you lose is your future: your expectations of what the story of your life so far was going to become. When you lose that partner or that job or that person, your future dissolves in front of you.
And of course, this is terrifying.
But look, Akhilanda says, now you get to make a choice. In pieces, in a pile on the floor, with no idea how to go forward, your expectations of the future are meaningless. Your stories about the past do not apply. You are in flux, you are changing, you are flowing in a new way, and this is an incredibly powerful opportunity to become new again: to choose how you want to put yourself back together. Confusion can be an incredible teacher—how could you ever learn if you already had it all figured out?
This goddess has another interesting attribute, which is, of course, her ride: a crocodile.
Crocodiles are interesting in two ways: Firstly, Stoneberg explains that the crocodile represents our reptilian brain, which is where we feel fear. Secondly, the predatory power of a crocodile is not located in their huge jaws, but rather that they pluck their prey from the banks of the river, take it into the water, and spin it until it is disoriented. They whirl that prey like a dervish seeking God, they use the power of spin rather than brute force to feed themselves.
By riding on this spinning, predatory, fearsome creature, Akhilanda refuses to reject her fear, nor does she let it control her. She rides on it. She gets on this animal that lives inside the river, inside the flow. She takes her fear down to the river and uses its power to navigate the waves, and spins in the never not broken water. Akhilanda shows us that this is beautiful. Stoneberg writes:
Akhilanda is also sometimes described in our lineage like a spinning, multi-faceted prism. Imagine the Hope Diamond twirling in a bright, clear light. The light pouring through the beveled cuts of the diamond would create a whirling rainbow of color. The diamond is whole and complete and BECAUSE it’s fractured, it creates more diverse beauty. Its form is a spectrum of whirling color.
That means that this feeling of confusion and brokenness that every human has felt at some time or another in our lives is a source of beauty and colour and new reflections and possibilities.
If everything remained the same, if we walked along the same path down to the river every day until there was a groove there (as we do; in Sanskrit this is called Samskara, habits or even “some scars”), this routine would become so limited, so toxic to us that, well, the crocs would catch on, and we’d get plucked from the banks, spun and eaten.
So now is the time, this time of confusion and brokenness and fear and sadness, to get up on that fear, ride it down to the river, dip into the waves, and let yourself break. Become a prism.
All the places where you’ve shattered can now reflect light and colour where there was none. Now is the time to become something new, to choose a new whole.
But remember Akhilanda’s lesson: even that new whole, that new, colourful, amazing groove that we create, is an illusion. It means nothing unless we can keep on breaking apart and putting ourselves together again as many times as we need to. We are already “never not broken.” We were never a consistent, limited whole. In our brokenness, we are unlimited. And that means we are amazing.

My nemesis - The Back Yard

So, while I've got the inside of the cottage all up and running and feeling like home, the backyard is my nemesis.  It's just a really drab, small space.   Our old backyard was so humungous and lush and green and gorgeous that it's a bit hard for me to stomach looking out at this.  It just really brings me down.  The kids had a huge play structure there so that's a bit of a bummer too but THANKFULLY my friend Patti gifted us this old basketball hoop and it has been such a hit with both Gavin and Ellie.  Before they flat out refused to go in the backyard ("Mom, it's just too ugly and so boring and way too small to do ANYTHING mom!"  At least now they will go out there and shoot some hoops so that is great when they are feeling cramped from the tight quarters inside.  

The problem with the yard is mostly ME.  I do NOT have a green thumb and I have to keep the water bill WAY down so I need some major help.  I don't even have any gardening tools! HA!  Also, most of the backyard is consumed by those two cement slabs or that big leaky shed sooooooo, kinda tricky.  There is that one patch of bark/dirt/weeds that could potentially have a raised planter bed for a vegetable garden there but that's down the road when I can get that all done.

I'd really like some quick growing vines to climb up the fenceline but every vine I planted at the old house died so my track record isn't so good in that department....

Basically, unlike the inside where I was able to immediately envision what I wanted to do with the space and how I wanted to lay things out and use it and the color scheme and the vibe etc.. all that just instantly and easily came to me, but with the yard I just stare at it with NO ideas and get increasingly depressed at how drab it is.  No color, no life, no joy.  It's just really depressing.  And I'm still finding old petrified dog poop everywhere back there which doesn't help me grown any more attached to it or help me encourage the kids to go hang out anywhere besides the cement slab, let me tell ya....

So, my plea to my green-thumbed friends out there... IDEAS?! Suggestions? Advice? Guidance?  I need a real, tangible, DETAILED plan on what to do back there!  I'm a complete loss....

The first few pictures show the bakcyard from the front angle as you come out from the back door/kitchen and then looking back towards the house from the opposite end by the rear fence (the outdoor shower is a HUGE hit with the kids!!!) and then the shed thing and then the little side yard.  It's REALLY small.  I get depressed without color in my life so I need color!!!  But I need low water useage.  The weather here is very mild, no dramatic highs or lows.  Lots of moisture in the morning, decent amount of fog, but then sunshine in the afternoon.

Thank you in advance to any of you who have ideas!!!

Kooper is like the Where's Waldo of dogs in this thing! HA! :)

The Cottage

Last weekend the kids and I, as part of this big life transition, moved out of our big, beloved home of the past 10 years and into a little 2 bedroom cottage which we are calling The Beach Cottage because it's a 5 minute walk from the beach.  To say my "village" came through for me is the understatement of the century.  Not only did I have 20 people show up to help me move (AMAZING!), most of them stayed the rest of the day too to help me unpack and get specific areas up and running by the end of move day.

 My friend Amy completely set up my new kitchen from top to bottom and in such a smart way that I have not had to ONCE upon all the drawers to find what I need, I seem to intuitively know where the coveted item will be because she designed the layout so perfectly.  She also came with meals for me and the kids to last us several days.  

My friend Tiffiny (who has twin boy/girl) brilliantly set up the kids room and in such a fantastic way as to have them each have their own designated "area" which was no small feat considering the size of this little bitty room that they have to share.

My other friends re-assembled all my furniture, set up my washer/dryer hookups, unpacked nearly all my boxes (with the exception of my bedroom/office which I obviously did because of how tedious and complicated that space is).  They brought me food and meals to fill my fridge and cupboards and plants to brighten my new space.  They gifted me with their time and their love and my heart just swells thinking of how amazing that day was having my friends from all my different "circles" come together with the common goal of easing my transition as much as humanly possible.

The next day after the move, my friend Kathy and her family came by to take care of my kiddos while she and I worked on getting all my artwork up on the walls. No small task, let me assure you.  She and I are equally perfectionistic when it comes to such things and there is absolutely a whole art that goes into this.  We were both amazed at how well the artwork was able to fit into this small space and seamlessly integrate with the mish-mash of furniture and so forth.  She also brought food and gifts and basically just lifted my spirits with her warm smile and positive attitude.

I had two friends (Noelle and Sabine) take Kooper for me on the two move days so that I wouldn't stress out about Kooper being anxious and not having his needs met.  Other friends (Tina and Annie) had my kids over for sleepovers so that I could ensure that their rooms were all ready when they got dropped off to ease their transition.  Another friend (Aerin) stayed with me for several hours to assemble the bunk bed and put together the kids closet and dressers with their clothes.  Another friend (Meredith) helped me pick up those (HEAVY!) craig's list finds and store them at her house until I was ready to move in. Another friend (Andrea was my GO TO gal for just about everything and helped me in every conceivable way).  I basically have a list a mile long of thank you cards I'm going to be writing tonight to all the amazing people who helped me throughout this!  I don't know what I ever did to deserve such incredible people in my life but somehow I ended up with the most amazing group of friends a gal could ever ask for.   I strongly believe in karma and paying it forward so you best believe I am going to be doing a massive amount of randomn acts of kindness to help balance out the universe after all the help and kindness I've been the recipient of lately!!!

I should also mention that with only three notable exceptions EVERYTHING in this house is either from my old house OR used stuff from friends that they were willing to part with OR super cheap craig's list finds.  The only new items I bought were the IMAGINE sign from Cost Plus, the "key" Clock in the kitchen from Cost Plus (both were on sale too!) and the adorable teal chair in the living room which I was able to get with a gift certificate to Pier 1 that a friend had gifted me.  Plus, the chair was on sale AND the floor model so I got it for HALF the price, and thanks to the gift card, it only cost me $20!

The yellow dresser was a craig's list find, as was the big long wood dresser.   The entertainment center was a wood Thomasville dresser that a friend gave me which we painted over with chalkboard paint to give it that nice black, matte finish that I love.  I added the yellow knobs (cost plus) to tie it into the dresser.

All the wall art was already mine from before.  All the paintings in the kitchen are my deceased grandfather's paintings, as is the huge painting in the kids room which I used as the inspiration for the color palette and design of their room.   I bought the bunk beds used from a friend.  All the bedding for the kids and for me is a new item but ON SALE! from Garnet Hill when they were having a huge sale and then I was able to use an additional 20% online coupon so it was a great deal!  The dining room table/chairs and kitchen hutch were from a friend who had them stored in her garage and they work PERFECTLY in the new space!

Because I used to not only have my own SEPARATE home office AND a separate prop room to store all my props it was a definite challenge to fit my office AND my bedroom in the same room and figure out what to do with all my props.  I ended up integrating my props into the home.   All the little prop kid chairs are scattered around the house.  The newborn baskets are displayed around the house in one way or another.  I just found a way to mesh the props with the home decorating.    I'm pleasantly surprised at how it all "works".

I left the kids' rooms practically intact at their old home so they could have that consistency and continuity.  I think, by far, the biggest challenge in this process for the kids was going from having their own huge rooms to having to share one tiny little room.   Gavin is a very quiet, private, kid who cherishes his alone time.  Ellie is a loud, boisterous, lively, in your face, nonstop chatterbox.  You can see the issues here.... :)    Because of the lack of space, I can't find a way to give Gavin his own "space" but a friend's daughter gifted Gavin her old ipod so that he can go up on his top bunk, plug in his ipod and headphones and zone out listening to music while reading a book and tune out his sister.  It has been a TREMENDOUS help for him to be able to have that "Escape" and downtime.  I also make it a point to pull Ellie out of the room and engage her with an arts and crafts activity in the kitchen when I sense that the two of them need some time apart.  

In the living room there was a big blank space on a wall that I wasn't sure how to fill so I ended up pulling out my box full of notecards/postcards/designed cards that I have saved over the years from a variety of sources.  Some of them are postcard my world traveling sister Seraphine has sent us over the years from her travels all over the world.  Some of them are cards sent to me by friends which I loved so much I couldn't part with them.  And some are the really super cute birthday card invitations I designed for Gavin and Ellie's birthday parties over the year.  I spent a significant amount of time finding the best layout to create a heart design with the cards on the wall.  I just love how it turned out!  I smile every time I look at it because it reminds me of all the people I love: my kids, my family and my friends.  All there on that wall.  :)

I have to say that the pictures I took today make the place look HUGE!  It must be the wide angle 16mm lens I used because seriously, the place is TINY.  Especially coming from the big house!  But, because of the vaulted ceilings and skylights and TONS of windows, it feels like a MUCH bigger space than it is.  It doesn't FEEL small.  It feels bright and airy and lovely.

The backyard definitely needs some work and tomorrow I will post pictures of the yard because it needs some serious help and I while I am great at home decorating, I royally suck at gardening/landscaping and I have no clue what to do back there to brighten that space.  It's just basically two slabs of cement and a little dirt/gravel patch (I'm thinking raised veggie garden!?).   It has great potential but I'm just not remotely gifted in that department.  No green thumb here.....  So, if any of you are good at that stuff, you can comment on the post tomorrow with your ideas! That would be greatly appreciated!!!

Lastly, I honestly cannot even begin to express my gratitude to my friends and family.  I've shed many tears over the past several months and I've been paralyzed by gripping fear and intense sadness.  I've painfully watched my kids struggle as they navigate these transitions and I've cried myself to sleep wondering if they would ever recover from all these changes and upheaval.   My friends have carried me through this process.  They've loved and nurtured me and told me everything was going to be ok when I didn't believe it myself.  When I couldn't imagine feeling anything but sadness.  When the darkness was too all-enveloping to possibly imagine any kind of light at the end of the tunnel.  

And now, that glimmer of hope is there.  That light is shining and I'm walking towards it.  And I know my kids are going to be ok down the road.  And that we are all going to be ok, actually.  And while I'm still uncertain about whether or not I can rely on my photography Business or may have to change careers, I'm going to keep my heart open to the endless possibilities.  When God closes a door, he opens a window.  And this place has lots and lots of windows....  :)

 

 

 

My bedroom/office

That treasure chest below was a craig's list find I bargained down to $15.  It is now storing all my knitting and sewing stuff. :)

 

 

Hallway

 

 

 

During the first few years of the kids lives I was SO good about filling out photo albums with all the images I had taken of them.   I haven't done anything put stick the pictures in boxes over the past two years but on display here is the gazillions of baby books they have for the first 3-4 years of their lives! Ha! :)

 

I thought it would be funny to put one of those plastic RESTROOM signs on the door.  I kinda like it.

Left bookcase is all Ellie's books and toys, right bookcase is all Gavin's books and toys.  Reddish orange dresser was found on craig's list, as was the blue dresser to the right.  LOVE craig's list!!!

Heather, did you notice the artwork on the blue dresser?  It's from your art classes this summer! Works great!

 

The kitchen is my favorite room in the house.

little personal touches to make it feel like home.

 

Yes, the bathroom has a urinal.  And yes, we love it.  Gavin loves having it and Ellie and I LOVE not accidentally sitting on "aiming" misses.  Sorry if that is TMI but the urinal is a really really really great thing.

 

The prop chairs getting integrated...

I didn't have a side table, so I took this light wood plant display table, spray painted it with chalkboard paint to match the entertainment center and then put this little vintage suitcase prop I had on top of it and voila! Instant side table with character! :) 

 

Entryway.  So, I had these wooden blocks I had picked up at a garage sale thinking one day I would use them for something.  I only had a handful of letters though: two T's, two B's, A, R, E, L, and an S.  I could not figure out what to do with them and was about to toss them when my friend Kathy came up with the word LATER and thought of putting it over the door... BRILLIANT!!!  

So, there you have it.   Exactly a week post move date and I am completely settled in, unpacked, decorated, and yes, finding happiness, in my new (rental) HOME.

The Smoky Sky

Due to an unexpected lull in my workload I'm trying to catch up on LIFE in general and also deal with the myriad of things on my to do list.  The next few months, in addition to being my busiest time of the year, are also a time of huge transition for me and the kids and things are just pretty much going to be CRAZY.   So, I'm trying to complete any commitments I've made, tie up loose ends, knowing I won't have time for it later, and just trying to manage my general incessant, non stop, ever mounting, to do list.

In between all of this I'm also trying to catch a few quiet 1 on 1 moments with my kids.  School starts in 20 days (not that I'm counting or anything.....) and our summer has been stressful and chaotic so I'm actually looking forward to the comfort that comes with a regular routine and the kids being back at their wonderful school where they have their support system in place with wonderful teachers, staff and friends.

I had two last minute cancelled shoots this week so I filled the time allotted to the first one with a little mini shoot with Ellie instead.  I was going to do the second one today to fill the second cancelled shoot but Ellie currently has a fever of 103 (her second day of fevers) and is down for the count.  She slept on my chest for 2 hrs today just like when she was a newborn.  That girl usually NEVER stops moving so I KNOW she's sick when she's that lethargic...  Poor little boo.

I was finally able to extricate myself from underneath her and she is vegging in front of a TV program so I'm quickly busting out this post before heading into the kitchen to try to make something she'll eat since she has barely eaten in 2 days.  It's so hard to have your kids be sick....  :(

In this little mini shoot, Ellie is wearing a new dress by my friend Julie over at ZOZOBUGBABY.  The dress is called the Smoky Sky and it's soooooo comfy!!!  Ellie didn't want to take it off.  She loved the flowy, twirl-a-bility of it!  

Sadly, the beach was a foggy, overcast mess so the lighting conditions were deplorable but I tried to work with it as best I could.   Truly, overcast weather is my LEAST favorite lighting to work with.   The lack of directionality, tone, color and warmth just depresses me....  So BLAH!  But, I used some flash and tried to make the most of it.  Regardless, Ellie and I had a nice time hanging out, and reminiscing because we had not done a shoot together in AGES.   She wasn't feeling so hot that day and now I know why because her fever kicked in much later that night so her usual over the top SPUNK is missing.  But she still powered through like the trooper and professional that she is!  :)

 

Gavin & his Angry Bird Obsession

My son Gavin is turning 9 next week.  NINE.  NINE!  Ugh.  How/when did that all happen.  I'm perplexed.  After all, wasn't it just yesterday I was rocking his sweet, chunky little newborn self to sleep?  Now he's entering the (very hormonal might I add) stage where he approaches those dreaded tween years.  It blows my mind that this will be his final year in single digit numbers.   I'm nostalgic.  Yes, it's bittersweet but it's mostly just bitter.  I'm seeing his childhood slip between my fingers already and regret so much (working so hard on my business the past few years is one of my greatest regrets) and yet, he's OK.  He is turning out swell.  I adore him and he's going to be a great guy.   I think anyone who can manage Ellie as an intense, pesky, control freak little sister can come out of that with some mad negotiating skills....  Just saying'....

For the past year Gavin has been pretty much obsessed with Angry Birds.  There are basically just two apps he plays with on my phone.  One is Cut The Rope and the other is Angry Birds.  It's the ONE thing I can threaten to take away and know I'll get instant cooperation.  Sad to say it's my most effective parenting TOOL.  Hey, I never said I was a GOOD parent....  I'm just good enough.  And Good Enough is going to have be Good Enough because that's all I"ll ever manage to be... :)

Anyways, I found this FABULOUS Angry Birds Cupcake Tutorial HERE and today Gavin, Ellie and I spent some time putting the cupcakes together for his party tomorrow morning.  He is having a really small "fete" with just a handful of his closest friends.  He forgave his mother for falling behind on the planning this year and not reserving the little private pool for his usual pool party in time...  I've had some seriously EPIC fails in the past few months with regards to my life so I'm quite lucky to have such a forgiving little boy.  

I laid out all the ingredients assembly-line style in little bowls, printed out the tutorial and was in charge of the frosting process.  Everything else they did themselves.  The only birds I did completely on my own were the blue ones.  The practically did everything else!  I was really proud of them and how they turned out.  It seems each bird/pig really has its own little personality.  Gavin even let Ellie go outside the "official standards" of Angry Birds and create two PINK birds.  How sweet was that!?  

Anyways, I could wax poetic all day here about what it means to have my boy turn 9 but y'all don't come to my photo blog for sappy literature, you come for PICTURES.  So here are a few shots of the final products all ready to go for tomorrow's party.  They don't look NEARLY as fabulous as the ones the mom did in the tutorial but that's OK since my new personal mantra these days is all about embracing imperfection...  So, I'm going to let that apply to baked goods as well.  :)

 

Tahoe

For my birthday last week, I had the wonderful opportunity and privilege to use a friend's beautiful cabin in Tahoe.  I had already pre-scheduled 5 consecutive days off on my calendar so I packed up the kids and dog and headed up for a mini-escape to the gorgeous land of Lake Tahoe.  

I only brought my point and shoot camera and my Iphone.  I know.  I KNOW!  What kind of photographer goes to Lake Tahoe and bring a P&S!?  Probably the same moron who goes to Paris and also brings a P&S.  That would be me, folks.  Wile E. Coyote over here..... But, unlike Paris, I didn't regret it this time.  I hardly even busted out the P&S except for a fun kayaking trip with the kids.  The rest was a small handful of Iphone shots.  I decided to just ENJOY my kids, ENJOY my time. And relax.  I was way overdue for some "sit and do nothing" relaxing.   Which, of course, I didn't really get since I had two crazy kids and a rambunctious puppy with me but I did get some downtime in the evenings to just chill and read which was just absolutely LOVELY.  We also were able to enjoy sauntering post-dinner walks around the neighborhood and game-time on the deck.  Fabulous.

The one big bummer of the trip was my poor pup coming down with some crazy, funky, rare disorder late one evening after all the vet hospitals were closed and no one within a 2 hr drive was open for emergencies....  It was VERY scary and my sensitive kids were freaking out.... Kooper's left eye was sinking into his skull and seemingly rotating into the back of his head.  The whole left side of his face went droopy (he looked like a stroke victim) and his third eyelid covered his entire eyeball.  Let's just say it was AWFUL to look at.   I was frantically taking pictures with my iphone to text them to a dear friend who is an emergency veterinarian.  She was WONDERFUL and dropped everything to help me out and calm me down and walk me through it.  I am forever indebted to her.   I ended up being at the local emergency vet hospital the next morning (on my birthday no less!) bright and early as soon as they opened.   Turns out he has a case of Horner's Syndrome.  My birthday plans to send him to the local doggie daycare so the kids and I could hang out at the club's pool and beach (no dogs allowed) were obviously thwarted and we weren't able to leave Kooper's side or go anywhere because we were so worried about him and I couldn't fathom leaving his side.  I even ended up having canned soup I had brought as my bday dinner and no cake in sight....  Kinda sucky.   :(

Having said that, the next morning Kooper woke up looking (and feeling) ten times better and since it's not contagious he was able to go to the doggie daycare (Truckee-Tahoe Kennels, HIGHLY recommend them, the owner is AMAZING and the staff is awesome!) so I declared it a RE-DO BIRTHDAY DAY!  And we pretended it was my birthday and we did beach, pool, dinner out, cake etc...  And it ended up being a fantastic day so all was well in the world again!

We enjoyed another half day in Tahoe before hitting the long road home (6+ hr drive).  The kids were pretty awesome travelers overall and I came back feeling fairly refreshed and so glad we had taken the time to actually get away and enjoy a much needed change of scenery.  

Here's just a few snapshots.  REMEMBER, POINT AND SHOOT CAMERA AND NO EDITING!!!

Taken with my Canon S95.

 

My Ellie Bellie

She's probably going to be a rockstar one day.  And she'll thank me for these iphone photos and videos of her childhood.  I think.... :)

The video was taken surreptitiously as I videotaped from outside her bedroom door.  She will go in her room and "practice" for an hour or so.  It just cracks me up because she makes up all these hilarious sounds and tonal inflections and riffs all on her own.   I just love it.  And I love her.  

(iphone photo)

 

Password for the video is:  EllieBellie

 

Behind closed doors from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

The Clay and The Metal.

It's been a time of significant transition for my family.  As we all try to navigate the choppy waters, I am finding myself learning to find acceptance in things I had previously struggled with.  I'm learning to accept that things change, plans change, futures change, and that resistance to life's unexpected changes is absolutely futile.   I am, admittedly, of those fine folks who is quite adverse to the concept of sudden, dramatic changes.  I prefer my change to be slow and steady.  More honey-ish.  Less geyser-ish.  Specifically, I like to feel as though I have some degree of control over the changes, which therefore gives me a sense of ownership rather than that dreaded sense of panicked powerlessness.

Either way, the control freak in me is not really enjoying this process one bit.  Having said that,  I am definitely experiencing a time of intense personal growth as a result of this.  Therein lies my silver lining, I suppose.  

Part of this acceptance involves the somewhat painful act of "letting go."   I used to be pretty good at the letting go aspect of life but then again, I've never had to let go of anything all that significant before so that could explain the previous ease with which I managed it all.  Becoming a wife and a mother and business owner and full fledged "grown up" means you have matters in your life, people and things and ideas, to which you are deeply attached.  I happened to have turned 38 last week and couldn't help but laugh at how different my life is today than just a mere 11 years ago when I was still young, single, renting an apartment and prosperously employed.  Oh the changes a decade can bring!  I will be ushering in my eldest's 9th birthday next month.  That's a definite "woah" moment for me.

I've also been quite introspective as of late, lying in bed at 4 am pondering life and questioning everything.  Much of that insomnia revolves around figuring out the best way to guide my children through these treacherous waters and providing them with all the love and care they need to forge their own (assisted and supported) path through the storm.  It's not a really great feeling to know you are bringing your children along on a challenging journey that they never requested to embark upon, a stressful challenge they did nothing to deserve.

And, as I struggle to figure out the best way to support, guide, comfort and reassure them, I am noticing just how different my approach needs to be for each of them.  I've always known how different they are despite being only 2 years apart and having the exact same DNA.  Despite their genetic similarities, they truly could not be on more opposite ends of the spectrum.  Their needs, their reactions, their wants, their anxieties and their comforts are vastly different.

During one of my (now standard) sleepless nights I came up with the analogy of The Metal and The Clay.  As parents, we are given these little beings and the unspoken truth is that they truly already come completely hard-wired.  They just do.  Obviously, we have some leeway and ability to mold, shape and guide them.  But, in the end, they are who they are.  We do the best we can with the material we are given.  When I look at my two kids, I see two vastly different materials.  Gavin is my clay.  He is supple and flexible and easily (for the most part) molded and shaped by my *somewhat* capable hands.  He veers and strays but ultimately molds back into the proper shape.  Deep down, despite whatever initial resistance or "testing" he may offer up, he likes to acquiesce.  He wants to please.   Ellie, on the other hand, is my metal.  She is tough as nails, not easily modified, and it takes Herculean (and near constant) effort to mold her.  She, by the mere nature of her being, does not WANT to or desire to be altered or shaped and resists all attempts to do so.  It takes hard work and persistent effort to both correct bad behavior and to encourage good behavior (as she much prefers being naughty than being nice).  She is rough around the edges, yes, but that doesn't mean I give up on continuing my loving and devoted efforts to help her be the best piece of metal she possibly can be.  

In the past, prior to having children of my own, I had always believed that children turned into the adults they became (both good and bad) due exclusively to the circumstances of their upbringing and the quality (or lack thereof) of parenting they received.  I now understand that it isn't quite that black or white and that there are many beautiful and devastating shades of grey in between.

It's possible that I am analyzing this as a way to help alleviate the future guilt I will have if my children come out of their childhood scarred and damaged for life.   Perhaps I am telling myself that no matter what trials they experience in their childhood, they are already hard wired to become the adults they will be, purely for the sake of not feeling like I am wholly responsible for damaging them somehow by not giving them the life I had planned for them.  The life I had so very much wanted to give them.  The childhood I had PROMISED myself I would provide for them.   

In the end, I've been using a specific quote to help me through my darkest hours.  Ultimately, keeping a positive outlook, despite the strain, is the best gift I can give us all.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."  Joseph Campbell

 

Dirt & Sunshine

A couple days ago the kids and I went to go visit a new friend, Kathryn Besser, and had an amazing afternoon picking the *most* delicious organic Olallieberries  from her backyard (baskets of them!), playing with her ADORABLE kids, making homemade Olallieberry Ice Cream and enjoying a constant stream of delectable homemade gourmet goodies from her kitchen.   Let's just say the woman knows how to prepare good food.  And let's also just say that I appreciate eating good food.  So, we're pretty much a match made in heaven methinks. :)   Plus, her dog scout and our dog Kooper totally hit it off so it's definitely a win-win here. :)

It was a really warm, relaxing and fun afternoon for all of us!  Kathy and I could have talked for hours on end.  It's so cool when two "online" friends meet in person and find that the "real" connection is as fantastic as you had hoped it would be.  We've got big plans for combining our passions and doing some fun things in the future.  

In addition to being Super Mom Extraordinaire, Kathy also happens to be an author of a really great little book on raising children.  The book would be a really awesome gift for a first time mom as it provides wonderful and sound advice on how to raise happy, well adjusted, respectful, polite and truly well rounded kids in this day and age without losing yourself in the process.  If you want to check out the book for yourself and visit Kathy's really cool site, here is the link:  DIRT & SUNSHINE.   Kathy knows what she's talking about because her two boys could not possibly be more sweet, kind and pleasant to interact with.  Her younger son Tate, in particular, absolutely stole my heart.  I wanted to kidnap him and take him home with me.  Seriously.  He's going to be a chef, and I could have talked "food talk" with him ALL DAY LONG.  Loved him!

Her blog is also great and has some fabulous recipes on it, many of which I have already bookmarked as I want to try them out!  All totally healthy and super yummy!

Kathy was also kind enough to gift us with two copies of a collection of photo memory books her friend Emma designs and creates.  These books would be SUPER awesome books for baby shower gifts or even birthday party gifts for little kids.   The layouts are brilliantly designed, super easy to use and just all around adorable.   It's inspiring me to take the time to photograph my own children for a change so I can have some material to put into the memory books we got.  Take a moment and go check out Emma's handiwork at SNAP STORIES.  You won't regret it!  Thanks, Emma!!!

Thanks again Kathy for everything.  We had such a great time enjoying a little dirt & sunshine!  :)

Can't wait to get started on our next adventure together..... it's going to be EPIC.  Ha!

 

End of Year Teacher Gifts

I've been sitting on this post for a couple weeks now because my son's teacher is a personal friend, reads my blog and is also my FB friend so I couldn't share this...It had to be a surprise!    We gave the teacher gifts today so I can finally share!

When trying to come up with a fun, creative idea for something this year (I put a lot of thought into teacher gifts because I really want to show our appreciation!) I decided to combine a few things I had seen out on the internet, and put my own spin on it.   The first thing I knew I wanted to do was create a dry erase board for the teachers.  Who doesn't love/need/want a big dry erase board!?    This is where being a professional photographer has its perks as I belong to several pro labs that offer specialized items such as custom dry erase boards in various sizes.   The co-head-room-mom, my good buddy Gretchen, and I decided to go with the big 12X18 size.

Our thought process was to incorporate group class pictures I had taken at the beginning of the year along with something personal from the kids onto the dry erase board.   The photo strip on the top was easy to put together in Photoshop.    I then told Gretchen about something I had seen on Pinterest (my current addiction) which I loved: fingerprint guest signing boards for weddings with special designs using the fingerprints as either balloons attached to a sketched bike or leaves on a sketched tree.    The purpose of these guest sign in boards was strictly for weddings but upon seeing it, I had immediately thought about how great it would be to create something using that idea for a teacher gift instead!

I hand sketched a tree using the exact dimensions needed for the future dry erase board (which took me about four tries to get something remotely useable because I am AWFUL at drawing) and then brought the "barren" tree into the classroom (teacher was sent away) and had the kids put their thumbprints (ie: leaves) all over the tree, and signed their name under their "leaf".   I then scanned the "sketch", dropped it into my photoshopped file, added some text at the bottom and VOILA!  Ordered the dry erase board through Miller's and received it a few days later.   

I really think the teachers LOVED them and I'm hoping it's as practical a gift as it is a heart warming one.  I've always been more practical than sentimental so I can't help but go for the practical gifts.   I'm the gal who bought myself a vacuum cleaner for my birthday one year.  Yeah.  Anyways, here is the photoshop file of the end result.  I added the green stroke around it just to have it stand out against my white background on my blog but there was no stroke on the final product.

Henri Cartier-Bresson

I absolutely had to share this impressive video.  Not only are the images utterly emotive and captivating, hearing his take on his images, his thought process and his approach was fascinating.  The man was pure genius.  Brilliant.  It is well worth 18 minutes of your time.  You will not regret it.  

 

HENRI CARTIER-BRESSON - Decisive Moment, The from bt465 on Vimeo.

Paris Chronicles - final days - Days 8 & 9

On Saturday, Ellie and I went to a park called the Buttes de Chaumont in the North-East region of Paris to meet up with another school friend, Hannelore, and her two ADORABLE kids: Oksana and Sascha.  It was so fabulous seeing Hannelore again so many years after high school and such a treat to be reconnected now, as grown women and working mothers, facing a totally different set of priorities, anxieties and joys.   

We romped around this truly gorgeous park while the kids played and we chatted, with constant interruptions of course, for a couple hours.  And while our kids were not able to communicate outwardly due to the language barrier, Ellie and Sascha totally hit it off and found a way, as kids always do, to move past the communication setback and have fun running, climbing and hopping over stones in the river.  

The parisians really take their "green spaces" seriously.  The parks are HUGE and clean and well maintained and even regularly patrolled by caretakers throughout the day and closed/secured at night.  You can get "lost" in those parks and completely forget that you are in the middle of a busy, bustling, densely populated city.  It's pretty neat.

Interestingly enough Ellie, who usually has total disinterest in little boys younger than her, was completely smitten with Sascha and took an instant liking to him, even though she had assured me that she "doesn't play with boys who are younger than her" while we were waiting for them at the entrance to the park.  Not that I don't understand the connection.  Right away I sensed in Sascha the same energy, spirit and vibe that I see in Gavin.  In fact, being around Sascha made me think about (and miss) Gavin SO much.  They are just SO similar in temperament, personality and disposition.  Both just really sweet, gentle, kind-hearted, intellectual and loving boys.  I was completely smitten with Sascha just mere minutes after meeting him.  And his interactions with his spirited, lively, independent little baby sister totally reminded me of how Gavin interacted with Ellie at that same age.    It was a bit deja-vu for me in a fun, twilight-zoney kind of way.  

I only grabbed a couple snapshots with my P&S because Hannelore and I were so busy chatting and connecting and assisting the communication between the kiddos.  I had a really awesome time hanging out with them and truly hope that it won't be another 20 years before we see each other again!!!

Ellie and I then metro'd over to the Montmartre area (near the Sacre C'oeur right next to where Ellie had gotten her haircut earlier in the week) and met up with Agnes and her kids to have lunch together (best Thai food I have EVER eaten).  It just so happened that THIS particular Saturday was the ONE Saturday per year that all the residents in that awesome neighborhood hold their annual "street sale" which is like a garage sale, except, without garages, it is held out on the sidewalks.   OMG.  Seriously.  Word.  I quite literally could have spent the ENTIRE day going up and down the street and filled an ENTIRE trunk full of incredible treasures.  It was actually almost torturous to already have my suitcases packed to the rim and knowing I had no room (or money) to spend on anything else.  I was drooling the ENTIRE time.  When one things "garage sale" one usually thinks "someone else's crap" but this, this was no ordinary garage sale.  This was TREASURES people!  TREASURES!    It was equal parts exhilarating to find all these golden nuggets of awesomeness as it was painful not to be able to but it all!  I had to keep reminding myself that I had already gone beyond my allotted spending allowance I had given myself and that it would be uniquely challenging to try to fit what I had already gotten into my two little suitcases.... Still, there were TWO items I could not resist.

1) an old, adorable, clean, french doll for Ellie that I bought for just 5 euros.  A doll that she wouldn't let go of the entire rest of our time there and with whom she still plays on the floor with all the time.

2) a MOST fabulous used twill jackets that fits me PERFECTLY and that I ADORE and wear ALL the time, which I got for just 8 euros.

We spent a solid hour going up and down the street ogling at all the goodies.  And Agnes found another chair for her comic book chair projects!!! SWEET!!!!

We then metro'd back to the apartment, dropped off our stuff and ran out for the mini shoot that I did of Agnes and her kids which I posted at the beginning of these chronicles.   A mini shoot hastily performed in between rain showers but that luckily turned out OK despite the weather giving us a challenge!  I definitely hated not having my usual array of equipment and it took some "thinking outside the box" to make some things work and me also just having to accept that there were some things I just couldn't do without my usual stuff and just having to let go of that.  The perfectionist in me was not happy at all but the itty bitty Type B voice inside of me kept trying to chill me out and just move on. :)

For our final dinner together, we capped it all off with homemade Crepes (savory and sweet) that I made and a *delicious* sweet potato soup that Agnes made.  We ate dinner later than usual (around 9:30pm) so after that it was straight to bed for the kiddos and then Agnes and I stayed up late chatting for our last round of late-night chats.  So sad.  :(

I did call Gavin that night and could barely hold it together hearing his sweet, tender little voice.  He didn't sound like my nearly preteen boy, but rather like my first born baby I had left behind.  The guilt nearly ate me alive and despite my best efforts to keep it together, I totally cried when I talked to him.  He had to keep telling me it was OK and that we would see each other soon and to not be sad.  ACK.    I sometimes don't know how I ended up with such an awesome kid.  Fortunately, he loved all the goodies I brought back for him so that helped alleviate some of the guilt....

Sunday morning we got up, had breakfast and were so lucky to have Agnes's parents give us a ride to the airport (which would have been nearly impossible with the NOW three suitcases, yes I came with two little ones, left with three... don't judge...and two in flight backpacks....)  SO grateful for the ride!  Ellie was a fantastic little traveler on the way home despite another 24+hrs of traveling.    I should mention that although she was positively ANGELIC the entire time we were in Paris (except that one day....), she has been QUITE the pain in the rear since we got back.  I'm really struggling with her and I am guessing that he re-integration into life here in the US, where she has to go to school and have her mom back at work and have to share her mom's attention with her brother, has not been easy on her....  I'm *trying* to be patient but boy-oh-boy is she pushing buttons left and right.... argh!    I may ship her back to you Agnes.....  :)

Here's just a few shots of the last 2 days.  Again, JUST POINT AND SHOOT IMAGES folks, nothing fancy.  And this now concludes this year's installment of The Paris Chronicles.  I sure hope it isn't another 6 years before I get to go back to my homeland!!!

Ellie and the Blues

I was listening to Blues-y music all afternoon yesterday while editing my client's pictures and Ellie came into my office and belted out this little rendition of HER version of the blues which she had just made up.  I loved it so much I grabbed my iphone and videotaped her doing it again for me.   She usually has such a dainty, high pitched little voice so this really had me in stitches. I also loved the story, so funny!  Hope it brings a smile to your face!  ENJOY!

Password is:  The Door

 

Ellie and the Blues from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

Paris Chronicles - day 7 (Friday)

It seems that on day 7, the jetlag and super late nights finally caught up to Ellie because this was her ONE cranky day of the entire trip.   She woke up very late (9am) and was in a fragile emotional state the entire day.    After spilling her milk all over the table and freaking out over just about everything, we finally managed to get out the door for what was supposed to be a full day of fun activities.  Our first stop was to tackle the crazy line at the Notre Dame Cathedral.  Ellie really wanted to see the gargoyles up close and climb the tight, circular 400 stairs all the way to the top.  She welcomed the challenge of getting to the tip without taking any "resting breaks."   Unfortunately, this was also the rainiest day we had all week and I, doofus that I am, had forgotten my friend Agne's spare umbrella that she had left out for us.  Additionally, I had also forgotten my lifeline, aka: Iphone, which essentially rendered me completely useless seeing as all the important info I needed was in that phone.  The main reason for the panic with regard to the phone is that I had the address, phone number and gate security code for a family friend's house nearby that we were supposed to meet for lunch at 12:30pm sharp.   And Agnes's phone number was also in my phone.  None of which I had with me.   I wasn't sure how I'd manage our lunch meeting but was hopeful my photographic memory would kick in from looking up my friend's location on the map last night and I would somehow find it later on when we needed to go there.

First things first.   We got in the line which was wrapped around the corner just as it started to REALLY rain.  I asked the people behind us if they could hold our spot while I ran across the street and bought us a hideous tourist-trap umbrella at the souvenir store.  I bought the rickety umbrella and we ran back to our spots in line and stood there for an hour in the pouring rain (wondering why everyone was staying in line rather than finding a warm, dry cafe!?) and at that point I realized that there was NO WAY we would be done with the line in time to meet our family friend at 12:30pm.  But, without my phone to call her, (without even access to her NUMBER no less), I was in a bit of a quandary.   I didn't want to give up our hard earned one hour wait (and advancement in the line) after what we had endured to get to the point we were at....  Without my phone I couldn't call our friend, I couldn't call my beloved host/buddy/savior Agnes, I couldn't call anyone actually.... Sigh.

So, after a quick calculation, I ended up asking the folks behind and in front of us if they would be so kind as to once again hold our spot while I ran and tried to find a public telephone.  By then we had been chatting over an hour in the rain so we had all bonded in a way you only can huddled under umbrellas as fellow tourists waiting for a special sight seeing experience.  They graciously agreed to save our spot.  Ellie and I took off tasmanian devil style in search of a phone.   I found one a block away, and yes, I did the only thing I could do: I called my mom.   Bear in mind, it was about 3 am USA time.... I knew she would freak out when the phone rang with a French number on it so the first words out of my mouth were WE ARE OK!  Then I apologized!  I told her I needed her to call her best friend, the friend we were going to see, to let her know we were going to be late due to the line and that I didn't have her pass code to get into her gated artists community.  My mom cursed me (in a playful way) and then Ellie and I ran off to get back in line.  My mom called Valerie who has been my mom's best friend for 35+ years and explained the predicament.  

In the end we stood in line another 80 mn.  Ellie was really a trooper throughout this, fortunately.  Not thrilled but not complaining too much.  We finally made it into the Notre Dame and got to climb the stairs and Ellie literally darted all the way to the top.  I was huffing and puffing keeping up with her.  She passed up several people who had taken breaks in the little enclaves, all of them laughing at me trying to keep up with my kiddo who is sprinting up 400 stairs without breaking a sweat.  

By the time we got to the top the rain had stopped and the sun even came out.   We had to wait at the top until it was our turn to go down and Ellie and I just soaked in the sun rays, reveling in the view.  We then hauled our now-starving selves over to Valerie's house where she treated us to the most amazing asian-euro-inspired lunch and homemade desserts ever!  SO YUMMY!  Valerie is a very cool gal, an accomplished artist and a pleasure to be around so I really enjoyed seeing her Paris artist studio that she lives in.  It's such an inspirational place to work and live in.  Ellie, unfortunately, was getting grumpier by the minute for whatever reason and we decided to go take a walk and head to a playground.  On our way there we stopped by some of the shoe stores in her neighborhood and Valerie ended up VERY generously buying me the most AMAZING, stylish, comfortable, high quality pair of sandals I have ever worn.  I mean, really, these shoes are just fabulous and I am *crazy* in love with them.  It's like walking on clouds, like soft, fluffy, puffy, heaven-sent loveliness and yet incredibly stylish.  Yeah, I kinda love them.

At this point, Ellie's jealousy decided to rear its ugly head and she started crying because she didn't get any new pair of shoes, which, beyond being totally obnoxious and rude, is also just NOT OK.  So, even though Valerie had fully intended on giving Ellie a special surprise, we both decided that after her little tantrum it would be best NOT to reinforce that kind of behavior by rewarding her with any kind of tangible item, which is what she was coveting   I really appreciated Valerie backing me up on my discipline and not trying to convince me otherwise.  Valerie is a mom and totally gets it.   Besides, it's not like Ellie hadn't already been spoiled with little souvenirs, a new outfit, yummy treats and, HELLO, a trip to PARIS?!

Instead, we took a walk down to the Jardin de Luxembourg and enjoyed the gorgeous surroundings and another super fun playground.  (See video at the end)

Them it was time to rush back to Agnes's house in order to get our little mini shoot done with her and her kiddos.  So we scrambled back home as fast as we could after a hasty goodbye to Valerie.  Unfortunately, when we got back to Agnes's house, the rain had come back in and the shoot had to be postponed to the next day.  We did have a lovely evening at "home" with Agnes and her kids and by then whatever had been causing Ellie's unpleasant attitude had been flushed out of her system.   Ellie and Manon had by this time become attached at the hip like little siamese twins with matching haircuts.  These two were utterly and completely inseparable.  Manon is by farther sweetest, most responsible, mature, caring and adorable teenaged girl  have ever met.  I can only hope that Ellie turns out half as good as Manon has! :)

I went to bed that night a little forlorn knowing that I only had two days left in Paris.  It seemed to have flown by so ridiculously fast.   I definitely was not remotely ready to go home.  The only thing that shook me out of my fervent desire to stay was talking to Gavin on the phone and hearing his sweet, tender, loving little boy voice.  I tried so hard to stay dignified but just a few minutes in I had tears rolling down my cheeks.  And as much as I tried to disguise it in my voice for his sake, he still sensed it and asked me if I was OK?  Argh.  That boy is just too sweet for words.  He was having lots of fun with his friends and grandma and so on but he definitely was ready to have mom come home.  And Kooper?  Goodness, that dog was full on SUFFERING with me gone.  Apparently he would cry and whine all day and night and kept dragging my pillow into his crate to sleep with it.  Seriously.  He NEEDED me home!  I'm not even sure it's healthy for a dog to love a human as much as that dog loves me! Ha!   Regardless, I was going to make the most of enjoying the next two days with my friends and letting Ellie experience 48 more hours of Paris life.   :)

Stay tuned for another chronicle in a few days.  I'm currently working on editing a big client session and need to get caught up before I do any more chronicles! 

 

REMINDER: THESE PHOTOS WERE ALL TAKEN WITH A POINT AND SHOOT CAMERA!!!!

 

 

Paris Playground from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

Paris Chronicles - Day 6 (Thursday)

After five days of uncharacteristically HOT and gorgeous weather (well above 75 degrees), there was a very cold front that suddenly moved into Paris.  It just so happens that this was the morning that Ellie slept in (fabulous!) and so we ended up getting off to a very lazy late start to our day and pretty much maintained this slow-moving pace the rest of the day.   After the dizzying pace at which we had been going since we left S.F., it was actually nice to have a day of SLOWNESS.  The cold, wet weather was the perfect excuse to hit the museum circuit.  And, truly, there's really no appreciating the art within if you are rushing by each exhibit.  So the timing of our slow moving pace was absolutely perfect.

We metro'd (yes, that's a verb I just invented, work with me here) our way down to the Louvres.  However, the lines were wrapping around city blocks and the hugeness of the Louvres made me decide to skip it with Ellie this year.  Too much.  Too overwhelming.  And not all that interesting to a 6 year old.    Instead, we walked on down to the Musee D'Orsay where we discovered more crazy lines.  Apparently, the weather had made everyone decide that today would be a great day for the museums.  Doh!

So, off we walked to our third destination, which was the ONE museum I really really really wanted to take Ellie anyways, and the one I knew would not have big lines:  The Musee Rodin.   I love this museum.  It's a half indoor, half outdoor museum.  Very small.  Very lovely.  And contains gorgeous sculptures from one of my favorites: Rodin.    I never tire of going to this museum.  And I knew Ellie would love it.  Sculptures are really fun for kids and Ellie decided right then and there that she would try to do a replicate of every pose we encountered, which was a really fun and interactive game she was able to play while enjoying the museum.   As expected, the lines were super short for this not very well known museum and as a bonus, I was able to buy us a discounted combo pass to the Musee D'Orsay at the same time which meant we could then hop back to the Musee D'Orsay and bypass all the lines for that one too! SCORE!

Ellie loved the Musee Rodin and we had lunch at their little cafeteria.   Quite lovely.  We then walked down to the shopping district nearby and went to a really fabulous kid clothing store called Du Pareil Au Meme that has SUPER cute clothes.  I got Gavin a really awesome, warm, super soft PJ set and Ellie a ridiculously cute frenchie outfit.  I went to a shoe store called Januk and bought myself a really cute pair of calf boots that I LOVE LOVE LOVE.  This was my special treat for me!  Then, we metro'd back to the Musee D'Orsay, skipped the lines, woohoooo, and got to check out the fabulous impressionist exhibit which Ellie actually enjoyed.   She loves art, which, naturally, makes my heart melt.   I could have definitely stayed there much longer but she had already done one museum and some shopping and so we kept our stay at the Musee D'Orsay to about an hour and left just as the rain was starting to really come down.  We took the faster RER train back home much earlier than we had been getting home the prior 5 days.  This allowed Ellie and Manon to play for 3 hrs while I got all our packing and organizing done, cleaned up the room we were in, and got the dinner table set and prepped everything for Agnes so she could enjoy a somewhat NON frenzied home-from-work evening.  Agnes and I enjoyed another late night of listening to great music, enjoying chocolate and wine, and having fabulous conversations.

Of all the things we did in Paris, I think my late night chit-chat sessions with Agnes are the thing I miss the most. Well, MAYBE the chocolate croissant comes first, but it's really neck and neck....  I usually spend all my evenings at home sitting at the computer either editing or working on business related stuff and I had completely forgotten how nice it is to just relax and decompress in the evening and step away from work.  Since coming home I have made (and maintained) the commitment to allow myself 2 nights per week OFF from the computer.   It's been one of the greatest things ever.  I've been able to actually FINISH a book I started (The Book Thief by Zusak - HIGHLY recommend), watch some mindless but funny TV (House, Modern Family, Raising Hope), start going through my pile of stacked magazines, and just CHILL OUT.    I definitely feel I came back from this vacation with a renewed sense of wanting to get my life back.  As important as my career is to me and is to our family budget, I am recognizing that I need downtime.  I definitely need LESS computer time.  I need MORE quality time with my kids.  WE need together time.  There's just too much rush-rush-rush.  And granted, there's only so much I can do about that.  After all, I run a full time business, volunteer at my kids school every week, do charity work and have a house to run, but still, I am determined to slow things down a bit.    As a side note, I may get a little unexpected help in that department seeing as my visit at the doctor's office today confirmed a very possible torn meniscus in my knee from my fall-off-the-cliff incident.  I have an MRI scheduled bright and early at 5:45am tomorrow morning.  Crossing my fingers I don't need surgery!!!  

Here are just a few pictures from Day 6 below.  REMEMBER:  These are images from a POINT AND SHOOT camera.  

 

Paris + Ellie + Holga 120

As you may remember, if you happen to have been following my Paris Chronicles from my mother-daughter trip to Paris over spring break, I gave Ellie my Holga 120 film (plastic) camera.  HERE is the link to it if you are interested.   It's definitely a cheap little camera and the film processing for this particular type of film (120N) is expensive (12 exposures per roll and each roll is about $12 to process unless you can find a coupon, which I was able to get for Swan Photo Labs in Southern California) so it's not like you are going to be replacing your gear with this anytime soon! Ha!  But the camera is super light, can be dropped (which it was), and can be easily figured out by little hands because the settings are SUPER simple.  The photographer only needs to specify the distance (which is aided by little symbols ranging from one person for up close to several people for medium distance to a mountain top for far away) and then pick if it's either sunny or shady (again, aided by super simple symbols of a sun or a cloud).  Winding the film to the next exposure is just as simple and easy so I assure you that when I say my 6 year old was EASILY able to handle this camera, I absolutely mean it.  She did everything on her own.  Plus, the advantage of the square format is that she didn't have to think about whether she wanted to shoot vertically or horizontally, thus making it truly a very simple, organic process for her where she could just ENJOY the picture taking process.  The ONLY setback we experienced is that, as a child of this time in history, she was annoyed that she couldn't see her picture on any LCD! HA!  She would just have to wait...  And it made her really have to stop and slow down and THINK about how she wanted to "spend" those 12 exposures per day.  I had brought 5 rolls of film for her, 4 color 1 B&W.  She used them all.  One roll was sadly destroyed when she dropped her camera and the back of the camera popped open exposing the roll.  After that, we used a hair tie to firmly secure the somewhat flimsy backing on the camera.  I'm sure duct tape would have worked equally well but this is what we had at our disposal and it worked.    Ellie LOVED having her own camera on this trip and really having to THINK about what was important to her and "worthy" of her film.   When I use film cameras I find that I actually really enjoy this SLOWING down that occurs, this MINDFULNESS that I have when I am taking pictures.     My goal is to bring out my old Canon 35mm film camera or even this Holga out more often and just do personal work with them.  I find it to be very invigorating and inspiring.

When I got Ellie's pictures back from the lab I was so thrilled with how they turned out and very proud of her thoughtfulness and composition in capturing her images.  I couldn't wait for her to get home from school to show her the pictures she had taken.  She was equally delighted.   I'm so glad I packed that camera for her. :)

Here are a few favorites from Ellie's "work."  I think this is the start of her very own portfolio.....  :)

ALL THESE PICTURES BELOW ARE BY ELLIE WOWAK, AGE 6.

View from the top The Notre Dame

 

Gargoyle

 

Paris Architecture

Ellie's mom (me) at the Gare de Lyon

Views from the Eiffel Tower

Stray Dog at the Antique Fair

Flag flying under L'arc De Triomphe

Ellie's mom (that would be me again) at the cemetery in Montmartre

Images from the cemetery in Montmartre

 

Street Performer in front of the Sacre C'oeur

Sacre C'oeur Church

 

Zaz

A friend shared this song with me and I instantly fell in love with the song, the singer's voice, the message, all of it.  Had to share it here because it not only put a huge smile on my face but I have been singing it ALL DAY since listening to it this morning.  So, I figured I'd curse you all with that same fate.  You're welcome.  :)

(I couldn't find a way to post the video here but this is the link to the video on their record label's Facebook page)

ZAZ - JE VEUX

Paris - Day 5 (Wednesday)

We started off the day taking the metro to one of the big High Speed Rail train station hubs in Paris - the Gare De Lyon.   It brought me right back to my 25 year old self when I took nearly 3 weeks off work and backpacked (alone) my way through much of Europe using a EurailPass, staying in hostels or rent-a-rooms, and subsisting on a diet of paninis, cheese and pastries!  Such incredibly fond memories of visiting 10 countries in less than 3 weeks, traveling all by train.  The countries I visited on that trip:  France, Switzerland, Italy, Greece, Poland, Czech Republic, Austria, Germany, Denmark, and Belgium.   The best trip ever.  So, walking into the big train station flooded me with all these memories and I was in my happy place.  Ellie was less than thrilled because we weren't actually going to be going ON any of these trains and having any big adventure of our own so she was feeling a little bummed out when she learned that our only train rides for the day were going to be the metro.  Nothing a "chocolate chaud" (hot cocoa) couldn't fix....

We then took the bus to the beginning of the Viaduc Des Arts (at the Avenue Daumesnil, very close to the Gare de Lyon).  The viaduct is essentially a super old train track (that stands OVER the roads) which was converted into a delightful, lush and super cute walkway across that area of town.  It is mostly used by joggers (since jogging the streets of Paris is not realistic, which is why you never see anyone jogging the streets, they are all in the parks, which are HUGE, or on these special walkways).   The viaduct is about 3 miles long and Ellie skipped along most of it.  She has energy to spare that kid.  It was a super duper trek and we really enjoyed an "elevated" path with a little "greenery" around us, coupled with a great view of the street life and architecture all around and below us.

We then grabbed a croissant snack and enjoyed it under the cutest little statue before continuing on our journey, crossing over a gorgeous bridge, and finally back to a metro station.  We then rode on over the opposite side of Paris, to the Jardin D'acclimatation where I had signed Ellie up for one of their afternoon kid workshops (polynesian flower craft).   When I had registered her and emailed the director of the program, she had assured me that Ellie being a non french speaking child would not be an issue.  Ellie was a bit apprehensive and shy (which is totally NOT her under normal circumstances but throughout our entire stay in France she was very anxious around other french kids because the inability to communicate with them was debilitating and paralyzing for her.  It was interesting to see how it really changed her inherent personality).  So, we get to the sign up room only to learn that there is not a single adult there who speaks even broken English.  No one.  And because parents are not allowed to stay, I'm starting to wonder if this is going to work.

 I start having this speedy internal emotional and intellectual debate about what I should do.  Realistically, nothing seriously bad could happen where language would pose a medical emergency type situation... but her inability to communicate with anyone in the class and not follow the teacher's instructions would probably really suck for her... and stress her out...and this is supposed to be a fun time for her... and as I am sitting here running every scenario in my head and Ellie is pleading with her eyes for me NOT to leave her here and clinging to my arms... and I am about to cancel... a little 8 year old Turkish girl also enrolled in the workshop comes up and, speaking very useable English, takes Ellie by the hand and tells her she will be her "friend" and help her.   Ellie's shoulders drop and all the tension evaporates from her body and she joyfully waves goodbye to me and runs off with her new little Turkish friend and I let out a deep breath because apparently I was holding my breath during this several seconds of internal debate.   So, while I am still feeling a bit anxious about leaving my kid in the hands of an 8 year old (with regard to her ability to communicate with others, clearly the adults are supervising the kids), I decide to take these precious 2 hrs and go shopping at the Champs-Elysees (very closeby) and enjoy my first alone time without Ellie glued to my side.  I had left my cell phone # so I knew they could reach me if needed.  I did text my friend Agnes and tell her how stressed I was about leaving Ellie behind in a situation where she could not communicate at all with anyone other than this one little Turkish girl.  Agnes very astutely pointed out that by the time I would return to get her, Ellie would be running that place with the help of her Turkish Interpreter.... this made me laugh out loud and totally shook off all the remaining anxiety I was still holding in.   As expected, her prediction was accurate.  Ellie managed to take charge of the roomful of little french speaking girls thanks to her "interpreter."   That girl.....  :)    She was all smiles when I picked her up.  I profusely thanked the little girl and her nanny.

We then stayed at the Jardin facility and enjoyed the amazing playgrounds, train and rides.   The Jardin is kind of like the new Happy Hollow, without the zoo part.   Another observation here about the differences between the French and the Americans: The french playgrounds are SO much more fun than the ones here in the US.  They have ziplines and really dangerous and challenging things to climb and are just way cool.  American playgrounds are entirely too "safe" in my opinion!  Additionally, the moms totally do NOT hover.  Like, at all.  They are off enjoying their coffee and conversation and rarely have their eyes trained on their kids' activities or whereabouts.  Never would a little french kid think to call out to their mom to ask for help getting up on  something or being pushed on the swings etc... they are expected to "figure it out" and "work it out" if there is a conflict.  Even little crawling babies are pretty much left to their own devices.  This was a bit nerve-wracking for me as this 9 month baby kept climbing up onto the zipline structure and had I not been there to intervene would have been knocked off several times by the kids zipping off of it.  So, there are pros and cons to this very "hands off" approach.  The pro is that these kids grow up VERY independent and self sufficient.  They button their own jackets, tie their own shoes and attend to their needs at a very early age.  They learn how to work out their conflicts and battles on the playground on their own and quickly figure out conflict resolution techniques as only children know how to, without needing a parent to mediate it.   They are far less clingy than either of my two kids were (and to some degree still are).  The cons are just more a matter of safety.  The kids get hurt!  At every playground we visited I was one of the very few parents who was actually by my kid's side (which, truly, had more to do with aiding communication and translating than anything else) and I can't tell you how many kids I had to help up, brush off, or check on after a bad tumble...  Most of the playgrounds are fenced in and the parents sit in the benches OUTSIDE of the park.  It's pretty interesting.  But you know what?  The kids are much more resilient and certainly tougher.  They just MANAGE, you know?  There's definitely something to be said for that.  I feel like I work really hard at NOT coddling my kids but compared to French moms I am a total helicopter-parent.  I need to work on that especially since I was raised by a frenchie mom who instilled a tremendous amount of resilience, independence and fortitude of character in us and I kinda like how I turned out in that regard.

We then headed home for a late dinner and Ellie was thrilled to be reunited with Manon whom she played with until bedtime.  Another fantastic day.  :)

AS A REMINDER THESE IMAGES WERE TAKEN WITH EITHER MY IPHONE OR A POINT AND SHOOT AND ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WORK I PRODUCE FOR MY CLIENTS!  (just gotta say that!)

A quick explanation, she was imitating the lion on the stairwell, right next to her...

Some zozo in our jammies!? Yes, please.

Julie from ZozoBugBaby sent over these beyond SUPERB jammies for my kiddos and it would be an understatement to say my kids FELL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE with them.  My kids are very sensitive and particular when it comes to clothes in general (sensory issues methinks) but even moreso when it comes to their sleepwear.  It needs to be soft, cozy, comfy.  Not too tight, not too loose.  And, yes, stylish.  They BOTH care about style!  Go figure.  Gavin has suddenly taken a very keen interest in what he wears, something he has not cared too much about until recently.   I can't just buy him clothes any more without checking with him first.  He wants them to be cool.  The clothes can't be "babyish" in any way.  His definition of babyish befuddles me but if he doesn't think it's "cool", he won't wear it.  And finding sleepwear for that kid is just plain HARD.    So, needless to say, these long (but light enough to still be perfect for summer) jammies are just AWESOME!   I had to grab a few shots of the kidlets wearing them.  The first shoot was the evening of my "fall of the cliff incident" so I wasn't able to hold my camera really well and the kids were BEYOND goofy that night (and the light in their rooms was dreadful) so I only managed a few shots in their rooms.  The next night we tried again and while my hand was feeling a little better,  I still couldn't move really well so my range of motion was pretty debilitating...  AND Gavin was still being crazy-goofy.  AND THEN Kooper couldn't help but get in the mix.  He HAD to be next to the kids.  He wouldn't leave their side.  When Ellie first was setting up her tea party on the grass he came running up to her, like a bull in a china shop.... she pretty much freaked out on him as she is very attached to her tea set and stuffed animals....That boy loves his "pack" so much.  Such a sweet, tender, loyal dog.  This was his first day without the cone in FOUR WEEKS.  He is so happy to have that thing OFF!  We still can't let him play or shake his head but at least the cone is off.  He should be all healed in a few more days! YIPPPEEEEEE!  Here's a few snapshots of my crazy kids.  Ellie was trying to get Gavin to cooperate and he was just having his own agenda.  It was funny to listen to her direct/pose/instruct him.  She sure has it all figured out.  Cracks me up!

 THANK YOU JULIE!!!!  Go check out her shop HERE, it's full of irresistible goodies!!!

Paris - Day 4 (Tuesday)

First, I need to apologize for the delay with this Day 4 of Paris.  I had a little "incident" on Monday which left me a bit battered and bruised.  I kinda, sorta, fell off a cliff edge while running my dog along a slightly treacherous single track deer trail up in the Roaring Camp property/mountain.   I run this trail several days a week with Kooper and we have our little system where he runs behind me and it all usually goes swimmingly well.  For some reason he decided to dart in front of me while I was running at a fairly fast clip (trying to increase my speed so I was pushing myself) and suddenly stopped.  As some of you may know he is the equivalent of the Great Wall of China and there's no way you can easily leap over this dog (he is THAT tall) but, not wanting to run into him and injure him or worse, knock him down the hill, I desperately tried to leap over him as best I could with no preparation or time to react.  I failed.   I landed hard/weird and tweaked my right knee really bad, then smashed up my right hand (which was holding my phone) and then proceeded to roll down the side of the hill, through patches of poison oak no less, until I landed in a ravine.  The only thing I managed to do right in all this was maintain a death grip on my phone (knowing I would likely need to cal 911 once I stopped rolling) and protecting my face as I rolled downhill.   Needless to say there were lots and lots of bad words being uttered once I finally settled at the bottom of the muddy ravine.   To add insult to injury, my dog effortlessly ran down the side of the hill to join me, super excited about this awesome game we were playing, further proving to me that next time I will let HIM go down the hill and I shall stay upright even if that means running into him....  He licked me all over and stuck his butt in the air indicating that he was ready for round 2.    I had a few choice words for him....  It took me about 5 minutes before I could get fully upright again due to the pain in my knee.  I knew it wasn't broken because there weren't any bones sticking out but MAN did it hurt.  I also realized that calling out a rescue team would be:  a) humiliating  and b) take them HOURS to locate me in this very remote area which is a maze of endless deer trails and there's just no way I was going to sit there for hours waiting to be rescued.  I needed to wash this poison oak off me STAT.  I am deathly allergic to it and the only thing I cared about at that point was scrubbing a bottle of Tecnu all over my entire body.   So, I dragged my sorry butt up the hill back onto the trail and then gingerly limped, all Quasimodo-ish, with right leg dragging behind, the remaining 2 miles back to my car.  Kooper, quite annoyed that we were no longer running the trail and having fun, was clearly very disappointed in me teasing him like that with our romp down the side of the mountain only to walk back to the car super slow.  How boring!   I did get to the car, drive myself home and Tecnu every inch of my body.  Sadly, I missed a couple spots because I have an outbreak on the back of my left leg but considering how much worse it could have been, I'm not complaining - too much.   My hand looks awful but actually doesn't hurt nearly as bad today so I think I am past the worst of it.  My knee is a different story.  I'm still in a brace and not sure when I will be able to walk normally - or run - again.  Major bummer.  Sigh.   It seems to me, over the past 3 years, that my intense exercising has caused me far MORE injury and dismay than if I just sat on the couch eating bonbons.  I think I need to re-evaluate this whole being fit thing.  It's not really working for me! :)

iphone picture of my hand yesterday

 

OK, so, now, back onto the Paris Chronicles shall we!?

Tuesday morning was a really slow morning for both of us.  I think the jetlag or the excitement caught up to us and we slept in pretty late.  Ellie was super jazzed though because our first stop that morning was the Musee De Poupee, a tiny doll museum tucked down at the end of an alleyway that few people know about.  I thought this outing would only appeal to Ellie but the place was a real gem.  It had dolls from the very beginning of doll-history, through all the stages of doll making, with all the different materials used, original outfits etc...  It was absolutely fascinating and a wonderful collection.   I can unequivocally say it is definitely worth seeing if you are there.  Ellie was delighted beyond words and we even picked up a small little French porcelain doll from the gift shop which she has proudly displayed in her room now.    We then walked by the Georges Pompidou Center (an incredible art center that we didn't have time to visit, as it is really an all day thing and Ellie would have been bored), but I grabbed a couple shots of the outside (blue tubes) of the building which is just an architectural feast for the eyes.  Definitely hoping to check it out next time.

We walked down to the Hotel De Ville, where Ellie enjoyed a fun little carousel ride (these mini carousels are on many busy street corners and in front of big monuments throughout Paris).  Then checked out the front of the Hotel De Ville building.  Again, the architecture is just always so wonderful.  My grandfather was an architect and I have a passion for architecture so you can imagine my joy in Paris....  It's all mouth-watering, pretty much.

Side note:  On our way to the Hotel De Ville we walked by a Starbucks.  Now, really, that's just Blasphemy!  There should not be a Starbucks in Paris when every cafe on every block has coffee that is TEN TIMES BETTER than the best coffee Starbucks has to offer.  I'm not anti-Starbucks.  Heck, I have a well used Starbucks card that I refill all the time.  Don't get me wrong.  But in PARIS!?  Just not right.....

Then, we had directions for a kid haircut place in the Montmartre neighborhood so we could finally cut off Ellie's 8 inches that she had been growing out to donate to Locks Of Love for the past 2 years.  We decided to coordinate the locks of Love donation with a little frenchie haircut!   Sadly, when we got to the kid haircut place it was shuttered.  (Even though the website was up and running and made no mention of the business being defunct).  I texted my friend Agnes and she gave us the address of her old hair stylist (from when she lived in that neighborhood).  By that point Ellie and I had been walking all morning and we were starving.  Although we had managed to avoid eating in any restaurants in Paris (SO expensive!) up until then, we had to eat and there was no little creperie stand to be found.  So, we grabbed a cafe at the foot of the Sacre C'oeur Church and ordered what turned out to be an overly priced and seriously gross lunch.  Argh.  Plus the service was typical bad-frenchie-we-hate-americans kinda service, something Ellie and I had not yet experienced and turned out to be the ONLY time we were given awful service during the 10 days we were there.   As a person who speaks french, I wasn't used to being treated like that but because they heard me communicate with Ellie in English, it was an opportunity I guess for them to treat us like poop and give us bad service.   There's definitely something to be said for having a service based industry here in the states which relies on tips..... (unlike France, where there is no tipping).  Anyway, no big deal, we ate enough to stave off the hunger and then went to go visit the Sacre C'oeur temple at the top of a hill overlooking Paris.  I love all the churches in Paris but Notre Dame and Sacre C'oeur are probably my two favorites.  We then rode the bus down to the Montmartre area and found the haircut place.  Now, I definitely spent more on this cut for Ellie than I ever would have but she had been anticipating this haircut for SO long, and it was for such a great reason, and had been enduring my mommy-trims for 2 years and therefore, I guess she deserved her first "salon" experience.  She got a super sweet male hair stylist who really took his time and did a great job with her little frenchie "coupe en carre" (square cut).  She was giddy the rest of the day.

We then took the bus down further, in the same general area, and went to go visit the Cimetiere de Montmartre.  (The Montmartre Cemetery)   I have a total love affair with all four of the major cemeteries in Paris.  I just LOVE them.   I know it's weird, but I can't help myself.  They are just THAT awesome.  I love the extravagance of the tombs, the funkiness and yet structure of the paths and layout, the cobblestone roads within, the feeling and vibe, the care and attention they receive, I just LOVE them.   Last time I was in Paris for a long stay, I visited about 3 of them, taking B&W pictures there.  This is the point where I was really really really missing not having my good camera with me.  The point and shoot was just not cutting it for me.  But, Ellie had her little Holga loaded with B&W film so somehow that made me feel better! :)   Much to my surprise she absolutely LOVED the cemetery too!  The tombs are really neat because many of them have special stained glass designs tucked away/hidden inside if you get in close enough and look.  Little special nooks and crannies to be discovered and explored.  We spent about 2 hours there just wandering around and shooting.  After that, we took the metro to a local shopping district and I was able to hit 3 stores (in the Gap price range) and get myself a few really cute tops and a scarf.  Ellie was such a trooper but it was nearly 7pm and I needed to get that girl home to eat dinner!  The metro ride was jam-packed and little Ellie was pretty much done with the metro at that point.  When we got home to Agnes's, she very excitedly showed off her new haircut to everyone and plopped down to play with Manon while Agnes and I got dinner ready.  It was a wonderful, productive day!  (Manon ended up getting the exact same haircut as Ellie the very next day by the same stylist, so the two girls were extra adorable playing together with their matching haircuts after that!)

I phone picture I took that night to send to daddy and grandma so they could see the new 'do.  :)

A post about the Paris Metro and Diversity and Unexpected Gifts

I live in a very white-bread community.  It's actually one of my biggest complaints, this total lack of diversity.   Growing up I had friends of all different races and cultures.  I could go from having dinner on the floor, with my hands scooping rice out of a communal bowl, at my Indian friend's house, to eating authentic Spanish cuisine at another's and then delicious Iranian food at another's...  I consider it a gift that I was able to be surrounded by friends of many different races and cultures.  I believe those experiences growing up helped shape me into a well rounded and open minded person who likes to try new things and is not quick to judge a book by its cover.    I struggle in finding (natural) ways to expose my children to these same kinds of experiences in a community of people who, aside from vast differences in income, all pretty much eat *generally* the same food, speak the same language and share the same culture.

It was my hope that Paris would help expose Ellie to all of these things which we lack here in my little Suburbia.  And, it did.  But along with that came a hefty dose of blatant racism that made me very uncomfortable.    The neighborhood my friend lives in is extremely diverse with a population mostly from north Africa and various parts of the middle East and Eastern Europe.    If you know anything about the Metro in Paris, you also know that during certain times of the day it is PACKED.  And by packed, I mean, PACKED.   Forget sitting down, you've basically got everyone's armpit in your face.  Or for Ellie, the poor child had everyone's crotch in her face!  And people pushed up against you, by virtue of the total lack of space.  There are even times when you have to skip a train and wait for the next one because that one just could not accommodate one more person.  It's what I imagine New York Subways and Tokyo subways to be like during commute hours.

This lead me to believe that the forced proximity with folks, where you are all holding onto the same "pole" for dear life (just kidding!), for much needed stability as the metro sways harshly from side to side, would result in people understanding/accepting that we are all the same.  I falsely assumed that living in a highly diverse community would mean LESS racism rather than more.   I was wrong.    And it pains me to say this because I love France.   And I am sure there are parts of France that are nothing like Paris.   But Paris, as beautiful and amazing and glorious a city as it is, also happens to be incredibly racist as a whole.   Ellie and I witnessed several instances of harsh and blatant racism that took my breath away (young white people refusing to give up their seats on the bus for a very elderly Afghan man, gypsies in the subway verbally assaulted and berated just for being gypsies, etc...)  Stereotypes run deep in Paris.  Yes, the majority of the gypsies in Paris are thieves and pick-pockets (this is a fact) but they aren't all.  They are also a community of people so hated, so truly despised and so terribly persecuted by the citizens of Paris that they absolutely CANNOT find even the most menial of jobs to support their families and therefore have little recourse when it comes to feeding said families.   There are, as always, two sides to every coin. 

It was all very hard for me to stomach.  And all my hopes of exposing Ellie to the wonderful world of a richly diverse, progressive thinking and harmonious community were pretty much dashed on Day 1.    On the flip side, Ellie and I were able to have really great conversations about racism (prompted by those incidents) which probably would not have been triggered otherwise.  So, I'm trying to look at the positives here.

On one of our Metro rides two men (gypsies) came on the train with their accordions to sing (and beg for tips).   They aren't allowed during peak hours but when it's the "slow" time and there's plenty of room in the trains, they are allowed to come on and do their little "show."  Now, for full disclosure, I need to mention that I have a particular affinity for the accordion and huge emotional attachment to this articular instrument because my paternal grandfather (whom I adored more than words can possibly express) played the accordion all his life.  He played it every night after dinner when my sisters and I were visiting my grandparents in France during the summers and I have the fondest memories of playing on the floor and listening to his music as played, while my grandma sat in her rocking chair knitting away, the click-click-click of near long metal needles blending in beautifully with his musical notes.  So, yeah, I'm partial and completely biased and was absolutely delighted to have this wonderful musical accompaniment as Ellie and I traveled to our final destination for the day.   Others on the train were not quite so delighted.  At the end of their show when they went around collecting tips, Ellie and I were amongst only two people in that entire section to tip them.   I should mention that I am not one to give money or handouts to people begging on the street.  I worked too long in Law Enforcement to know that the money you give a homeless person will go straight to drugs or alcohol.   I would much rather volunteer at a shelter or donate to a program/facility that provides ACTUAL help and support for people struggling with addictions/homelessness/mental illness.   So, I have my own biases there based on having worked the streets for a decade and seeing first hand what most people never really see or experience in terms of how the "underground" world of the homeless operates.

But here, for these two fellows, they were, in my opinion, working for a living.  They were spending long days going from train to train singing and playing just to earn a few euros.  They were contributing in the way they knew how.  So, I was very happy to give them money.   It was just sad to observe others on the train yelling at them to stop, leave, or worse.  Fortunately, Ellie didn't understand any of the heckling (the actual words used) but she certainly understood the negative tone and the intent of the hecklers, which was sad to both of us.    After the gypsies got off the train in order to hop onto the next one, Ellie turned to me, bright eyed and bushy tailed and remarked: "how lucky we were mama! We got our very own serenade!  Wasn't it lovely!?"  Yes, indeed.  It most certainly was.  And then, in a sudden breathless moment, I felt an overwhelming wave of intermingled sadness and joy wondering if my grandpa, up in heaven, had played any small role in making sure those accordion playing gypsies had found their way to us in order to give his great granddaughter, whom he never had a chance to meet, a little taste of something that had brought me endless joy as a child?  I guess I'll never really know for sure but I certainly like the idea that he was behind all of it. :)

(I secretly caught a snippet of their serendipitous performance on my iphone, please forgive the poor quality)

 

Paris Metro Gypsies from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

Paris 2011 - Day 3 (Monday)

Ellie and I woke up bright and early, overflowing with excitement about climbing the Eiffel Tower.  I've been up the ET three times already in my lifetime, but being able to do it with Ellie made me particularly giddy.  I knew the lines would be long but I figured if we got there an hour before it even opens, we could be at the front of the line.  We metro'd on over only to discover, much to my dismay, that the chaotic maze of lines were already snaking all around the foot of the Eiffel Tower.  And, because this is France, and not the US or Germany (hahaha!), there was no "system", no cordoned off ropes to help guide you, just lines of folks in every which direction (there are three entrances to the tower) making it practically impossible to even figure out where the END of the line starts!  OY vey!  I kept a smile on my face though, not wanting to discourage Ellie as climbing the Eiffel Tower was #1 on her TO DO list while in Paris!  

We finally found the end of one line and remained in line for three hours.  YES.  THREE HOURS.  And Ellie?  She didn't complain ONCE.  I was absolutely shocked.  When we finally made it inside the entry and started to climb our way to the second level, she voiced her first complaint.  "Mom, I thought you said we were going to CLIMB the Eiffel Tower?!"  To which I replied: "Yes honey, that's what we are doing!" (huffing and puffing up the stairs).   Total look of disappointment on her face.  "But mom, I thought you meant we would put GEAR ON and like, you know, CLIMB IT!?"  She makes the hand motions of literally climbing, ie: scaling, up the outside of the Eiffel Tower at which point I burst into laughter!  That's my girl!  Merely walking up the stairs is JUST NOT ENOUGH.  She had visions of mountaineering the Eiffel Tower.... Love that kid.  We get to the second level and walk around taking pictures and enjoying the view before waiting in line another 30 minutes to take the elevator to the tippity top (no stairs go up to that level).  We get up there, take more pictures, enjoy more stunning views and then head down to the second level via elevator and then walk down to the bottom floor.   It was fabulous and despite the let down of not having been able to climb the outside of it, she still had a blast!

We then rushed to meet Agnes and her son and a very dear Middle School friend and her two daughters for a picnic in the park at the foot of the Eiffel Tower.  This friend, Martha, lives in Elk Grove but we haven't seen each other in YEARS.  It just so happened that we were, strangely enough, BOTH in Paris AT THE SAME TIME!  So, of course, we had to meet up!  We enjoyed an amazing picnic lovingly prepared by Agnes (more cheese and chocolate of course!) and then took Martha's girls and Ellie to the nearby playground to let them play (Ellie was happy to have an English speaking playmate!) while the mommies caught up!  It was a gorgeous day and felt so nice to reconnect IN PERSON.  Nothing against Facebook, but it's just not quite the same as face to face contact! :)

After that Ellie and I did the whole "wait in line for 30 minutes to use a disgusting, revolting, awful, pungent, repulsive public restroom" routine which is fairly typical in France.  Side note:  THIS product absolutely was indispensable throughout our trip.  We sprayed this on our hands about twenty times a day, after each trip to the restroom, after each bus or metro ride, etc...  I am able to confidently assert that this was the first time I didn't get sick on a vacation thanks to this item.  AMAZING product.  I always keep one in my car and one in my purse.

Then, we took the metro over to Notre Dame Cathedral.  Honestly, it doesn't matter how many times I've gone (over the years) into the many stunning churches in France, it literally takes my breath away EACH and EVERY time.    It's an EXPERIENCE.  That's the best way to describe it.  The wait to climb to the top and see the gargoyles up close and personal was about 3 hrs and since we had already done a 3 hr wait for the Eiffel Tower, neither Ellie nor I was up for that line.  But we did do the 30 mn wait to get inside.  Looking at Ellie's face when we walked in was priceless.  Her jaw dropped, her eyes got HUGE and the awe on her face was something I will never forget.    We walked around, took some pictures and then went to the "prayer area" where Ellie asked me if she could sit down (with all the grown ups praying) and say a quiet prayer all on her own.  So, I let her.  And she definitely had her own special moment inside of Notre Dame, all her own.

Once outside we walked over the bridge of lovers, where couples in love put a lock on the bridge fence to "seal" their love and then throw the key into the Seine river below.  It's very French.  Such romantics those frenchies.  :)  

Then we walked along the Seine and enjoyed the wonderfully quaint little vendors all along the side of the Seine in that neighborhood while partaking in an ice cream cone.   Absolutely lovely.

We worked out way down to the entrance to the Bateaux Mouches which are very large tourist boats which go up and down the Seine so you can get a river-rat view of the architecture and monuments that lounge the Seine River.  By then we'd been on our feet ALL day and I knew a relaxing boat ride would be perfect for us to unwind before taking the metro back home to Agnes's for dinner.  The boat ride was, yes, very touristy, but also fun and cheap enough that I would totally recommend it.  Next time, I'd love to have a meal or snack on the "floating restaurants" which are actually big shipping boats converted into permanently docked restaurants along the Seine.  They were all so colorful and funky!  We then took the metro back to Agnes's neighborhood, picked up groceries and headed back to the apartment for bath, dinner, SLEEP! :)  Another FANTASTIC day in Paris.

Here are some snapshots of that day.   

REMINDER:  THESE ARE ALL EITHER IPHONE PHOTOS OR POINT AND SHOOT PHOTOS!!! THEY DO NOT REFLECT THE QUALITY OF MY PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY WORK IN ANY WAY!!! PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND!!! THESE WERE MERELY SNAPSHOTS!!!!  *added: these snapshots showed up VERY pixelated on this post, no idea what is going on, so I apologize for the extra poor quality*

Paris 2011 - Days 1 (Saturday/travel day) and 2 (Sunday)

Ok, I'm launching into my journal/recap of my magical trip to Paris with my 6 year old daughter.  I should preface this by saying that it was incredibly hard to leave behind my 8 year old son and overly-attached puppy.  I can also say, upon reflection, that this trip would not have been as perfect as it was had it not been just me and Ellie, so it was definitely the right decision to only bring one kid with me, and to bring the one who likes to walk miles on end without complaining....  :)

Seeing as it had been six long years since my last jaunt to my homeland, I had completely forgotten how LONG the travel day is.   It's LONG.  Between the 1.5 hr drive to the airport, the 3 hrs there before boarding, the first 11 hr flight, then the 3 hr layover, then the NEXT two hour flight, an hour to go through customs and baggage claim and the final hour to get to my friends' house, it was nearly 23 hrs of JUST travel to get there.  Of those 23 hrs, Ellie only slept 3.  Yeah.  But, despite the lack of sleep, she was in an awesome mood the ENTIRE time.  I've discovered through this experience that she is an incredible, flexible, adaptable traveler.  Which works out well, seeing as I LOVE to travel.   My son is more like my husband.  Total homebodies who don't do very well outside of their comfort zone and home routine.  So, I made the right choice! :)

We were also incredibly fortunate to have my friend Agnes's parents come pick us up at the airport and drive us to her apartment about an hour away from the airport.  Traveling with two suitcases and two backpacks through a crowded metro after a full day of flying would have pretty much sucked.  So, we were incredibly grateful for that ride!

It was 2 pm Paris time when we arrived (even though it was the middle of the night for our bodies) but the adrenaline took over and after dropping off the suitcases we went for a stroll all around our newly "adopted" neighborhood to check out where the local "Boulangerie" and "Chocolaterie" and "Pharmacie" were.  You know, the important stuff, in that order....  Agnes brought us to the local Metro station so we could buy our weekly pass and grab our metro map (all of which were used from morning till night our entire trip as it was our exclusive means of transportation and due to its elaborate and comprehensive layout provided us with the way of getting everywhere we needed to go) .  We grabbed some groceries at the local supermarket and headed home for an early dinner (in France 6pm is considered VERY early for dinner, we typically ate between 8 and 9 pm the rest of the week) and a bath and then Ellie and I CRASHED at about 7:30pm.  We slept like zombies, having been awake for almost 29 hours, and I would have slept straight through til morning if Ellie had not awoken at 3 am (local time).   She stayed awake (but in bed) from 3am to 6 am and then fell back asleep until 9 am.  When we woke up, we both were totally on track for local time and did not have any jetlag issues the rest of the week.  I cannot say the return was as smooth as we are both still plagued by jetlag issues four days after re-entry.....  

When we woke up it was Easter Sunday so all the shops were closed for the day but the outdoor "marche" (food market) was open.  I dressed Ellie in the ZOZOBUGBABY outfit and took pictures of her wearing that outfit throughout our morning travels.  (Scroll down two previous posts to see the pictures of that shoot).  We got the MOST delicious fresh raspberries I have EVER eaten and a few other fruits and veggies.  Agnes then took us over to the Champs Elysees so we could bring Ellie to L'arc de Triomphe and go up to see the view.   I'd already done it several times in the past but it is definitely worth the stairclimb.  Sadly, the line was insane and I just wasn't in the mood for waiting in line 3 hrs.  So we took some pictures from below.  (Note: if you read my previous post you will remember that, due to a monumental error, I only had my fixed crappy Sigma 50mm lens for this day and that all the other pictures the rest of the trip were taken with either my Canon S95 Point and Shoot or my Iphone.... I know, TRAGIC.  Don't remind me....)

Under the Arc de Triomphe and a cool local building close up I liked.

We also picked up some INCREDIBLE pastries at a little Afghan pastry shop in the neighborhood of the old Antique Fair which we went to go visit after grabbing some crepes-to-go for lunch.

Oh, while I'm on the subject of food.  The French have *much* respect for my three favorite food groups:  bread, chocolate and cheese.  Take a look at this window display at a Chocolaterie.  Seriously.  This isn't just chocolate, this is ART.  It's all about priorities....

We then came home, had dinner, enjoyed a gorgeous sunset from my friend's 6th floor apartment and geared up for a very busy Monday!  Every night after all the kids went to bed, Agnes and I would pour a glass of wine, grab some chocolate, put on some good music and chat.  It was the perfect way to end each evening.  

REMINDER:  THESE ARE ALL EITHER IPHONE PHOTOS OR POINT AND SHOOT PHOTOS!!! THEY DO NOT REFLECT THE QUALITY OF MY PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY WORK IN ANY WAY!!! PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND!!! THESE WERE MERELY SNAPSHOTS!!!!

Rather than narrate after each one, just a quick run down of what I posted today:  Ellie in the car on our way to SFO.  Heading to our flight.  In the plane, studying our Paris book.  Writing a letter to Gavin and Kooper.  Layover in Germany.  Arrival at Agnes's house.  View from Agnes's 6th floor apartment.  Sunset our first night.  Walking around the next morning.  PASTRIES!!!  More pastries.  Ellie's choice of pastry.  Chocolate.  MORE CHOCOLATE!  :)

Agnes, the hostess with the most-est.

I'll be posting my shoot with Agnes and her kiddos (Manon and Lucas) after this one but I wanted to preface that blogpost with a little snippet about my friend Agnes.  In a nutshell, she's cool.  REALLY cool.  The kind of cool you are either born with or you aren't.  You can't DEVELOP or LEARN this kind of cool.  Her whole family is incredibly artistically inclined and that gene certainly didn't skip her.  I immediately fell in love with her apartment, decorated with the perfect combination of art, funk, color, style, originality and totally infused with her wacky and edgy personality.  To say I instantly felt at home is an understatement.  I was ready to move in permanently.  In fact, I'm still trying to figure out how to make that happen....  :)

The very first thing I noticed where these INSANELY awesome chairs that she designed/created herself using old beat up wooden chairs she found at the various flea markets in town and upon which she covered with french comics and applied a lacquer over the top to seal them.   If I could have found a way to transport one of these home, I would have.  Seriously.  I NEED this.  NEED.  Then again, my house is so NOT cool that these chairs would be the equivalent to the Sesame Street song: "One of these is not like the other" and I'd end up looking like someone TRYING to be cool when they're so NOT cool.  So, I basically can't pull this kind of stuff off until I find a money tree which allows me to move into a really awesome old victorian house that I can decorate from scratch however I want to..... yeah.  So.  In the meantime..... Having said that, my kids rooms are pretty cool and I think I could find a way to integrate this idea into their rooms.   I'm going to have Agnes send me a stack of french comics and I am going to send her a stack of American comics and we are going to have our respective chairs made sometime this year!

Here are a few pictures of Agnes's AWESOME chairs.   Oh and also a picture of us walking back home from the annual "garage sale" in the Montmartre neighborhood where she managed to score yet another chair, soon to become gloriously reborn by her!  Try picturing all of us walking onto the local bus with a big chair in our arms.  Yeah, it was pretty funny.  :) 

Zozo in Paris

Ellie and I just got back from the most magical trip ever.  And no, we didn't go to Disneyland! Hahahahaha.  I'll admit, I'm not a big Disney fan.  Sorry.  But Paris?  Now you're talking my language!  I had saved up my credit card points for SIX long years to redeem towards two tickets to go back to my country of origin, and re-visit a favorite city, Paris.  I was finally able to make that dream trip come true thanks to the generosity of my high school friend Agnes (more on her and her fabulous two kiddos in the next blog post) who graciously hosted me and Ellie for the entirety of our 8 day stay (plus 2 travel days).

The trip was absolutely everything I had hoped and dreamed it would be.  There is no doubt in my mind that this incredible vacation will be one of Ellie's fondest memories of her childhood.  To say she integrated seamlessly into French living is an understatement.  The girl was MADE to travel and explore and experience new things.  She has the most adventurous spirit and an endless supply of energy.  If I'm the energizer bunny, then she is definitely the energizer bunny's daughter.  It started off with a painfully long 27 hr door-to-door travel day to get to my friend's apartment in Paris.  She only slept 3 hrs during that time and still managed to be full of bubbly, happy, excitement when we arrived.

We then hit at least 3 (if not more) major monuments/sites PER day, taking the incredibly vast and comprehensive public transportation system to get around everywhere we needed to go.  I can easily estimate that we walked (and climbed!) over 5 miles every single day.  Lots of stairs too.  LOTS.  That girl was by my side keeping up with my fast walking pace the entire time. Tip: if you walk fast and assertively in Paris, you are not mistaken for a tourist.  And she was learning French (with a perfect accent) the entire time.  I really cannot express how impressed I was with her drive and motivation to experience as much as possible.  It was awe-inspiring and made the trip so enjoyable.  Even in the face of 3 hr waits (for the Eiffel Tower), she did not complain or whine ONCE.  We only had ONE day where she was having an "off" day and being really challenging.  The rest of the time was pure joy from the moment we got up and hit the ground running until the moment she went to bed around 9pm every night. I am so incredibly proud of my wonderful little traveler!  

We balanced our historic monument days with fun kid centered activities intermixed into the day.  In between museums we would hit one of the many street carousels or stunning parks (with insanely cool playgrounds) or just take in some casual shopping because, much to my delight, she is also an incredible shopper.  Total score.   We missed Gavin and Kooper dearly but our days were so fantastically jam-packed that I wasn't able to dwell on how much I missed them.  It wasn't until I spoke to Gavin on the phone that I broke down and cried at the sound of his sweet little voice.

Another time I cried (or at least cried on the inside) was when I discovered that I had somehow, unforgivably, inexplicably, brought the WRONG lens with my back up SLR camera.  Literally, I felt my heart crack in two.  I had had so many visions of the amazing images I was going to take during this trip and upon realizing that I had (waaaaaaaaaaaaah!) packed my fixed 135mm f2 lens rather than my 24-70mm f2.8 lens, I panicked a little bit.  OK, a LOT bit.  And, because I had brought my back up sub frame Canon 7D, the 135mm was actually more equivalent to almost a 200 mm fixed telephoto lens, rendering my focal range virtually USELESS.  All my visions of incredible images were immediately dashed and I had to accept that I would be relegated to using my Canon S95 point and shoot for the majority of the trip.  I had also thrown on my crappy Sigma 35mm lens on my 7D (which was about a 50mm range due to the crop factor) and so that was the lens I used for this shoot for Julie's ZozoBugBaby line and the shoot I did for Agnes and her kids.  But everything else was shot with the P&S.  Yes, it hurt to use a P&S in Paris. Excrutiating, actually.

On the flip side, it forced me to just LIVE the vacation and not focus on the photography but rather on the actual EXPERIENCE.  This was definitely an unexpected gift, as I was able to just hold Ellie's hand (and my purse - tightly - in the other - lots of pick-pocketing in Paris) and just OBSERVE with my eyes, my nose, my ears and my heart.  And I was able to watch first-hand as Ellie had her own experiences and observations as well.  So, in a way, not being able to use my "good" camera was a blessing in disguise even though I'll admit that I cringed when I got home and opened up my RAW files from the P&S and saw all the digital noise and lack of clarity and tone etc... Sigh... The images are certainly good enough for helping trigger the memories and the mental snapshots I took along the way, so I'll just be eternally grateful for them regardless of the lack of image quality! Ha! :)

The morning of Ellie's ZozoBugBaby shoot for Julie, we had planned on hitting the outdoor food market, outdoor flower market and then the outdoor Antique Fair.  The weather was a bit iffy and the light was really YUCKY which totally bummed me out.  It was incredibly hazy and dark and I only had that one crappy lens and none of my other equipment that I am used to having to be able to combat such bad light issues.  I pretty much just had to make the best of it.  Fortunately, Julie's outfit that she had designed for Ellie was BOLD, BRIGHT, COLORFUL and FUNKY!  It not only brought a smile to my face, it brought a smile to Ellie's face.  She LOVED it!  And she wore it TWICE during our week in Paris and then again her first day back at school.  The outfit is just so totally her.  

I do realize this is the longest introduction to a shoot EVER and I totally apologize for that!  I've got ALOT to say about our trip!  I plan on doing a journal-ish blog post for every day we were there: outlining what we did, where we went, what we saw and providing the P&S snapshots to accompany the written text.  I realize this will probably only interest my mom and a few friends but I wanted a place to put all this stuff down for those friends and family who are interested in it and this seems like the perfect venue to do that.

Obviously, the images are just snapshots and nothing worth writing home about but if you love Paris and want to hear about our experience, you may want to check in here every couple days.  :)

Now, onto the reason for this blog post!  ZOZOBUGBABY!!!

 The first couple shots were taken right on the street in front of my friend Agnes's apartment.  She lives on the 6th floor by the way.  My rear end was grateful for the exercise to help offset all the cheese and chocolate I consumed....  :)

whirlwind

The past month has been a total whirlwind.  Just complete chaos really.  And not the good kind either.  Because there really is good chaos.  Really!  But not this time.  So, the blog has been put on the backburner as I've been putting out fires left and right and managing a bunch of really challenging situations, including having my poor puppy (actually, he's a massive, muscular 100 lb, 18 month old puppy, so not the little tiny furball you might be envisioning when I say the word 'puppy') need two urgent surgeries under general anesthesia just in the past week alone....  It's been pretty awful.  The worst part is that after the first surgery he developed a terrible bacterial infection due to what we think was a latex allergy from all the latex adhesive tape they used to bandage up his head... so now he is on 2 weeks antibiotics and needs to have his wounds cleaned out every day and his bandages changed every day and wear a cone for another 2-3 weeks MINIMUM.   And this is a HIGH energy dog who is used to running with me every morning, enjoying long romps on the beach and doggie play-dates with equally rambunctious doggie friends.   OY VEY.   Tack onto that the kind of month where everything that COULD go wrong, DOES go wrong.... we all know those days and weeks and months....  Let's just say 2011 started off on the wrong side of the bed!  Geesh.

So, I really apologize for the total lack of updates and new material.  I'm usually SO much more active and on top of things when it comes to my business and my blog.   Life just kinda took over there.  And now, I am going to be out of town for 10 days.   My 6 year old daughter and I are leaving on the trip of a lifetime, which I've been saving up for for the past 6 years, since I was pregnant with her!  We are going back to France (where I was born and am originally from) to visit friends and family.  I'm leaving behind my son and puppy.  And trying not to think about how much I'm going to miss them.  I've arranged all kinds of fun stuff for my boy so I know he is going to have a blast.  But still.... I've never been away from either of my kids (or dog) for more than 3 nights.   So, a little anxiety there.    Having said that, I have been looking forward to this trip for ages and I just can barely contain myself thinking about it.  Just a few more days and I'll be back "home"....  :)

So, I thought I'd do a couple things here.  I want to leave you with a recipe for a super duper yummy vegetarian quiche I make.  In honor of my Paris trip of course!  And also, since many of you are new fans from the Rock That OCF giveaway I just did for my friend Ali, I will leave you with a discount coupon code for my Nitty Gritty E Book for $24 off the regular price.    The code is:  rockthatocf

I promise to share pictures of my Paris adventure here upon my return but I'm not planning on taking the big camera out with me every day.  Since I speak french, I kinda just want to blend in with my daughter and get the non-tourist experience some days and just wander fancy-free without any set plan or anything.   I haven't been back to Paris in almost a decade and it's going to be wonderful to re-visit my favorite spots with my daughter and see them fresh through her little 6 year old eyes and my old memories intermingled therein.   I've also got a ton of shoots in May so there will be plenty of new content here, I promise!  :)

Thanks for your patience everyone!

Oh, and also, I came across this link with some fun FREE activities to plan for during summer break with your kids.  I know it seems far away but it isn't (gasp!) and if you are anything like me, summer break means working from home with kids underfoot going bonkers because they are seeing too much of each other and outside of their normal scheduled day is NOT the idyllic summer for THE MOM!  Egad! :)  Hope this helps stave off the boredom that can lead to craziness!

CLICK HERE FOR LINK

And now, the recipe!

LEEK, GRUYERE, MUSHROOM, ONION QUICHE:

(this makes 2 quiches)

2 tbsp flour

6 eggs

1 cup heavy whipping cream

1 cup half and half

4 cups shredded chees (I use either shredded gruyere or Trader Joe's Quattro blend)

2 large leeks, chopped

1 cup chopped white onion

lots of garlic

a couple cups of sliced crimini mushrooms

A bunch of really skinny asparagus.

And then I used premade dough because I just DO NOT have the time for that.  So, I had the dough pre-bake in the quiche pans for 15 mn while I tended to the rest.

In one pan, I sauteed the mushrooms with the garlic.  In another, I sauteed the leeks and onions.   In a bowl I whisked the eggs and flour along with the whipping cream and the half and half and then added the cheese to this egg mixture and stirred some more.

Once the dough was ready, I split the mushrooms into two servings and spread each into the bottom of each quiche pan over the baked dough.  Then I spread the onion/leek mixture (split again) on top of that.  And then I doled out the egg/cheese mixture on top of all that.  I topped it all off with the asparagus, (see picture).   Oven to 350 degrees for 30-45 mn (or so, depends entirely on your oven, just make sure egg mixture is firm) and VOILA.   My house smells soooo good and it was soooo yummy!

Oh and here is my poor pup Kooper right after his FIRST surgery.  He had to have another one just 5 days later.  He is still miserable...  :(

One eared wonder.  We love him so.

out of my cold, dead hands....

My Iphone.  Yup, my Iphone.  They'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands,  :)

As a professional photographer, I tend to get too perfectionistic, too clinical, too much of a purist when it comes to taking pictures.  Even just "casual" pictures of my own kids.  It's hard to just "grab" random shots without getting sucked into the vortex of analyzing, looking for light, feeling the vibe, watching the backdrop, checking the white balance, assigning the  focal point, looking for shadows, controlling the composition, etc....  

I just sometimes feel like I get too enmeshed (or stunted?) with the *details* instead of just letting loose and non-chalantly grabbing "snapshots"...  It's like "snapshots" is a dirty word for me or something.  I almost feel as though I should be creating art with every image I take, whether it is for a client or for myself.  And the self imposed pressure of that means I don't take out my "real" camera with my own kids nearly as often as I should.  And that's just plain silly.  

This is where my beloved Iphone comes into play.  As a piddly CAMERA PHONE, there is NO unrealistic expectation involved.  The only expectation is that, truly, you're gonna end up with a small res camera phone snapshot.  And that's exactly the point.  With all the options and considerations taken out of the equation, I can just mindlessly grab and snap with total freedom and peace of mind.  I KNOW I'm just gonna get a crappy snapshot.  And I'm OK with that because there is no other choice!

The whole point with my Iphone is that it is with me at all times, always at the ready and always available to grab those little moments and memories without having to put any thought whatsoever into the process of capturing that memory.   And that's the beauty of it.   And because of this, I take pictures of the kids with my iphone EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Pictures (and short videos) of practically every cute little thing imaginable.  I call them "snippets" of our life together.  I am in love with these "snippets".  They represent our true, authentic, day to day life.  Messy bedhead, jammies, dirty house, etc... just REAL life.  And if there's one thing I treasure it's authenticity.   My iphone allows me the freedom and ease to just grab and shoot at any given moment in time, no matter where we are or what we are doing.  It's practically an extension of my hand at this point.   

We've had some pretty stressful challenges over the past few months and I'm been very absent over here on the blog while focusing my attention on my kids and trying to keep myself in a good "space" so I can continue to meet everyone's needs.  I've been spending the free time that I have with my kids and going on long walks on the beach with my dog.  Staying centered and balanced as a mom is so critical in order to be the multi-tasking superwomen that we are.  I simply cannot be an effective mom, business owner, maid, cook, etc... if I'm not taking the time to slow down and BREATHE and rid myself of any negativity that threatens to swallow me up.  The past couple months were my normal "downtime" with regard to my business and is usually my recoup time to gear up for the coming busy season.  Due to personal exigencies, I was not able to get that much needed downtime, but I did force myself to get out and get fresh air every day and I am so grateful I did.

I also think that all the "snippets" I took over the past few months contributed to me being able to manage all the stress by helping me maintain a sense of perspective throughout my personal trials.  It helped remind me of my many blessings and focus on the wonderful, positive things I have in my life.   I have always believed that maintaining a healthy sense of perspective in one's life is truly the only way to experience happiness.  Having a grateful heart is a surefire way have joy in one's life.  I'm going to share a handful of these "snippets" just from the past week to show you that even "crappy iphone shots" can serve a purpose.  When I look at my (hundreds of) "snippets", they invariably bring a smile to my face.  I am easily able to look past the clear technical inadequacies of such a device and instead focus on the MOMENT that was captured and the memory of what was going on at that moment.  All of these snippets are small, seemingly insignificant, moments I would never have taken the trouble, time or effort to document with my "real" camera and yet, I am so happy I have them now.  All this to say, basically, there's never a "good" time or the "right" time to take pictures.  ANY time, ANY way and with ANY device works, because the purpose is to help freeze your own memory.  The mere act of TAKING the image freezes it in your psyche and leaves you with a tangible reminder with which you can share with your children one day.  It cements it, so to speak.  And therein lies the greatest gift of all when it comes to my snazzy little Iphone.  

I want to thank everyone for being so patient with my neglect here on this blog.  I'm ready to refocus my attention on it and get back into the swing of things!   I have shoots coming up this week and all the school spring portraits are done.  Back on track!

HAPPY SPRING!

Gavin knows I love all things "owl" and so he spent days working on this elaborate and intricate "secret owl" design which is an owl with billions of little people living in it and even a baby owl hidden within the mama owl... I just love it.  I especially loved the time he put into it.  So I grabbed a shot when he handed it to me.  Good thing I did because he has since misplaced it and we can't find it anywhere....

 

Ellie still loves to draw on her Magna Doodle in the car, this was a picture of her and Gavin, which I quickly grabbed a picture of at a red light before she erased it to start on a new drawing.

 At grandma's yesterday.

Kooper's paw prints in the sand always make me smile.

Ellie was having a hard time understanding the various characters, functions and point system in Angry Birds so Gavin drew up this cheat sheet to help her.  I thought that was so sweet of him!

 

My kids, inexplicably, like to play Legos in our tiny, cramped, bathroom...at the sink...while singing A Cappella.  We're weird, what can I say?  But it's so stinking cute that I grabbed a video last night with my Iphone since it was so handy... I know I'll look back fondly on this. :)     The password for the video is: iwannabe

 

Personal Penguin from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

Lillipops for WOMEN!

You have all seen the many shoots I have done for Jayme's Lillipops line of clothing for little girls but this is an entirely new direction/line of clothing geared towards women!  You can imagine how thrilled I was about that!   I have had these outfits ready to shoot with my model for the past several weeks.  EVERY single time we had the shoot scheduled on the calendar, the day would come and the rain would show up.  Sometimes literally in between two sunny days but days that didn't work for either of our schedules.  Yesterday, as I was driving to my friend (and model for the day!) Noelle's house to pick her up for the shoot, it (predictably by now!) started to rain.   Utterly frustrated at the weather's complete refusal to cooperate with my plans, I decided we would just go for it.   I didn't want to risk my gear getting wet but figured we could find covered areas in downtown SC.   Noelle was a major trooper and walked around downtown SC in the rain in red stiletto heels.   The funniest part was that all the boys were whistling at her and giving her loads of attention whereas I was wearing my Tom's flat shoes, a huge bulky rain jacket and not an ounce of make up.  Plus, Noelle is just all kinds of hotness no matter what she is wearing.  So, we must have looked like quite the odd combo! HA! :)

The first item is this gorgeous wrap style top.  I am sooo in love with this.  Head over heels.  Cannot wait to get mine!!!  We started off in the parking garage and when the rain did break for a few minutes, grabbed a few outdoor shots as well.  It's so hard to photograph when it's dull, dark, grey and there is no light directionality to speak of.  You really have to seek it out.  Or create it. :)

And a quick word about my friend Noelle.  Beyond the fact that is ridiculously good looking with an amazing body (I'd hate her if I didn't like her so much), she's also smart as a whip, super funny and, best of all, loves dogs!  Hahahahaha!  Actually, our two "boys" are BFF's and we became friends after our pups met and decided to be best buddies forever.  Thankfully, we also totally hit it off, so it worked out quite nicely.   She graciously agreed to model for me and totally rocked it.  THANKS NOELLE!

Speak with conviction

I shared this on my Facebook page but had to share it here as well.  Love this.

Click the link to view the clip.

SPEAK WITH CONVICTION

Keeping it real

I've been going to a lot of photography focused blogs lately, keeping tabs on what's hot in the industry and enjoying the eye-candy associated with other high end professional photographer's highly creative and technically sound work.  I am particularly drawn to the fashion industry photographers and, afterwards, always have little daydreams of one day hitting it big and jetting off to Paris for the weekend to shoot the cover of Vogue Paris.   Then, I take an honest look at my life and realize that at least for now, my reality is I'm first and foremost a mom and secondly a photographer.   I've always had this push-pull relationship with my work.  I absolutely love what I do and it's definitely more than a hobby.  After all, I run and operate a full time photography business that supports my family and gives me a wonderful (and much needed) creative outlet in my life.   I take my business very seriously and I know that my clients' expectations are high because I am a high end photographer providing a very specific service based on my unique style/approach/expertise.   I think that pressure actually helps make me a better photographer as I am always striving to be better, learn something new and grow beyond my comfort zone.

But, the bottom line is, I cannot always fully immerse myself in my business and my photography in the way I'd like to and also be the kind of mom I want to be.  That balancing act everyone talks about is, at least for me, not so much about juggling all the nitty gritty details of running a house and a business at the same time (which, by the way, takes considerable energy and drive...) but about managing my two passions and seemingly mutually exclusive goals.  I am passionate about being a good, attentive, caring, highly involved mom.  I am also very passionate about taking my beloved business to the next level and pursuing photography as an artform.   Occasionally, those two go hand in hand (ie: when I'm doing shoots with my own kids) but sometimes they don't.  And that means I have to set aside some big dreams and aspirations knowing full well that pursuing those dreams would adversely impact my ability to be the kind of mom I want to be.  I know there are plenty of other top notch photographers in the industry who are also moms and are able to do both without any reservations or setbacks.  But, I know myself well enough to know that my life just isn't structured that way.

I may be a able to "do it all" here now within the scope of what I have built up over the years, but, truly, just barely!   After all, there's just one of me.  I don't outsource my editing work.  I don't have an assistant, a secretary, a scheduling person, an accountant, a billing person, a front end person or someone to put all my client packages together.  It's just me.  And on the home front, I don't have a nanny or a maid or anyone to do my laundry or get my groceries or cook my meals.  It's just me.    And so, the bare bones DUTIES that are associated with running a business and running a home, IN AND OF THEMSELVES, is such that I function on very little sleep and move at the speed of light every day just to get all those DUTIES covered.  

So, you take that, and then you factor in that I don't just want to be the kind of mom who does all the "functional" things and "gets it done."   I also want to be connected to my kids, emotionally involved, volunteering in their classes (I am room mom in both classes), making time to just BE with them, play board games, do arts and crafts activities, and find that down time to just talk and cuddle and read books together or go on walks and hang out.   In that same regard, I don't want to just be a photographer who does everything that is expected of someone running a professional business (ie: responding to emails quickly, making prompt editing a priority to get my clients their images as quickly as possible, keeping an active blog, social media etc...) but I want to go above and beyond that as well.  It comes easily and naturally for me to be PERSONALLY invested and emotionally attached to my clients.  I feel bonded to them and care about them deeply.  Most of my clients end up also being dear friends.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  I think the fashion photography industry is a whole lot less warm/cozy/loving than what I get to experience with my clients!   Having said that, when I do work the occasional fashion shoot or creative collaboration, I actually feed off the fact that I don't have any personal bonds with these people and can just immerse myself in the creative process and "get it done" aspect of the job.  So, there are advantages and disadvantages to both.

In the end, when I look at what my short term goals are with regard to running my business and being a mom to my kids, I realize that my long term goals of being a big name fashion photographer are probably not realistic.  In order to tap into that industry one needs to be putting ALL of their heart and soul (not to mention time) towards that goal.  And being willing to invest all that energy into that kind of work would mean sacrificing WAY too much time with my kids.

And so, as I watch the videos interviews with these photographers who made it to the "big time", I temper my feelings of "oh, I wish that were my life" with "what I've got here is pretty darn swell too."   My house may be the furthest thing from the house of my dreams, we live very frugally, we don't do big vacations anywhere, etc... but what I do have is two kids whom I adore, who really get to spend some quality time with their mom while also seeing her work in a profession she loves.   My kids and I get to experience their childhood together in such a close, tight knit, day to day, loving and attentive way that I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.  

So, I may not have a fancy studio, I may not have a staff who works for me, and I don't get decked out in heels, a snazzy outfit and perfect hair/make-up for my shoots with my family clients.   Because that stuff isn't really important.  Certainly not to the kids I am photographing.  Do you think the kids would notice if I were wearing the latest Anthropologie blouse?  Probably not.  Do you think I would be able to run after them, roll in the ground and get those amazing shots that I get if I were wearing high heels?   Certainly not.   I sometimes feel like some of the big time photographers are more interested in being quasi-celebrities than focusing on the task at hand.  How I look and dress has no bearing on what I am being asked to do, which is capture MY CLIENT'S story.   THEIR lives.    It's not about me.   Not to mention, the fact that I do 3 loads of laundry every day and pack school lunches every night, and face all the same challenges and struggles as most of my clients helps me far more relatable to them.  And it helps me be able to engage with them and their children in such a way as to bring out their most genuine and authentic selves.  Which, in turn, coupled with my technical expertise, helps produces truly wonderful images.   In the end, there's just something to be said for keeping it real.  :)

Mea Culpa

Hello Everyone!   Sending out a quick little "mea culpa" to everyone to apologize for not being active on the blog.   It's not for lack of being busy as I was shooting and teaching workshops, not to mention that the flu knocked me down pretty hard all last week... but just rather that everything I've been busy doing is not blog-able.  Is that even a word?!  I think I just invented a new word....  :)

Regardless, it's just going to be a bit slow over these here parts for the rest of this month.  Having said that, I do have a shoot tomorrow with a mom/friend/client and her two boys that will definitely make its way onto the blog and maybe even a commercial shoot this coming weekend that I've been rescheduling nonstop due to rain.  The following two weeks are completely devoted to spring photos for my kids' school, so even though I'll be burning the midnight oil editing, I won't have much to show for it here on the blog.   Next week, I'm photographing 300+ kids in the span of 3 days and then the following week I am doing all the preschoolers!  Definitely a huge undertaking as a solo photographer but I'm really excited and honored to be able to do this.  I can't show you those pictures for privacy reasons but hopefully I can come up with some fun stuff to share with you all!  Thank you for being so patient with me!

Here's hoping everyone is staying healthy and doing well! 

(((hugs)))

Kids and Chores

And it's called My Job Chart.  Yep.  Best Thing Ever.  Flat out.

I'm what would be considered by today's standards a pretty strict parent.  My kids have been doing chores since the moment they could toddle around with a swiffer in hand.  If you don't believe me, here is Exhibit A.  Gavin at 18 months old.  Swiffering.  Happily. (Excuse the crappy photo, I was not a professional photographer at that point!)

I am mean.  I won't let them have any screen time (whether that be computer, Wii or TV) until their homework and chores are done.  Every morning they have to make their beds, get dressed, go make their breakfast, put their dish in the dishwasher, brush their teeth and comb their hair, without being reminded a thousand times, and as much on their own as possible, like the responsible 6 and 8 yr olds that they are.  In the evenings they will empty the dishwasher, set the table, put their folded clothes away, bring the dirty laundry down to the garage, clean their rooms and lay out their clothes for the next day.  They also help me pack their lunches and are expected to do weekly chores such as vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, doing yardwork, emptying the garbage cans and bringing the recycling down to the side of the road.    With two working parents, there needs to be some serious teamwork in order for the house to run smoothly and even though I end up having to redo some of their work, and having to "supervise" many tasks, much of it is stuff they are now able to do completely on their own.

Having said that, getting them to happily do their chores is an entirely different matter.  There is a fair amount of grumbling, whining and complaining.  Some days more than others.  But, I got really tired of the homework battles and the constant negotiating (can I do it later? can I do it after this? can I do it tomorrow? Can I do half now and half later? Can I do this instead of that? ....) that seems to accompany nearly every request to attend to their assigned duties.

When Gavin came home the other day complaining about how "rough" his life is and how I don't let him do anything fun or let him eat candy (his exact words were: "you don't even let us eat processed sugars!") or stay up late at night on a school night, or let them say bad words, or let them do bad things etc.... I had a little chat with him about the true definition of a "rough life."  When he persisted and wouldn't relent on his stance that "everyone at school has more than me and they get to go to Disneyland and take vacations and get any toy they want...." I decided to bring out the big guns and sat him down in front of the computer and googled "children living in poverty" and pulled up a series of images to help him understand that while we may not have any extra frills or luxuries, we most certainly live a very comfortable and blessed life.

If there's one thing that drives me crazy it's spoiled, bratty behavior.  And I get really agitated when my kids act like spoiled rotten brats.  So, I was quick to squelch his vitriolic protests by not only showing him just how good he actually has it but how incredibly lucky he is, how lucky we all are.   That night he was still grumpy and not relenting but after sleeping on it he woke up the next morning and was quite contrite.  He apologized for "being a butt" (pretty fair assessment) and asked what we could do to help those children he saw in the photos.

Thanks to the recommendation of a friend, I had already set up a FREE account with My Job Charts that previous night after they had gone to bed.   And we've been using it a few days now and I have to say: I'm in love.   It's amazing.  It's a super well designed, incredibly user friendly layout, online job chart and points reward system that you customize to your needs.  Each child gets their very own login area with their picture and secret password.  You customize each field to the individual child's chores and responsibilities.  You can assign morning chores and evening chores, extra chores, daily chores, weekly chores, monthly chores etc...  They get little pictures and checkboxes to check them off after they do them, each checked off chore earns a pre determined (you specify) amount of points.  These points then get divvied up into three areas based on the child's decision on where those points go: 1) Saving 2) Charity 3) Spending.

The points they put in their Spending Account go towards predetermined awards you have selected or created.  You can use the standard ones that come with the program such as a trip to the zoo etc... or create your own (such as a trip to Pump'd or The Penny Ice Creamery!) and when they have earned enough points to "pay" for the reward, they redeem it on the site, which sends you notifications (for the older set who will be using it unsupervised, mine are still doing everything under my supervision) to let you know they have "paid" for that reward.  You can also add toys if your kids are more toy driven than "family outing" driven but mine don't need any more "stuff" and the whole point for me was to make them have LESS of the "gimmies" and have a greater appreciation for time spent together as a family.  So, all our rewards are for family time or outings to specific places, not any toys.  Although one outing is a trip to the local bookstore seeing as that's Gavin's favorite place to go.

After trying this out and seeing for myself how incredibly well it has worked and witnessing first hand the success I've had with it, I just had to share it here.   Friday morning the kids had everything done and were dressed and ready to go in HALF the time it usually takes them.  On Saturday, Gavin dusted the entire house and went out at 8 am to clean dog poop in the backyard.  WITHOUT being asked.  Just to earn points towards his rewards.   I mean, seriously?!  REALLY!?  Woah.  

And I've been delighted to watch as Gavin puts the exact same amount into the charity account as he does the spending account, without fail, every time.  It makes me proud of him and more importantly, it makes him feel good about himself.   We're still working on Ellie in that regard.  She isn't really good at sharing and so far she only puts about 1/4 of her earnings in the charity account but we are getting there, slowly but surely.  One day at a time.

All in all, I cannot possibly recommend this program more.  Truly wonderful.  I think it would best suit ages 4-12.  Oh and one last really cute element I forgot to mention.  The parents and kids can leave little virtual sticky notes on each other's accounts for them to see when they log in.  I leave a note for each kid every night and they respond back every morning when checking off their morning chores.  Gavin's are really elaborate (in the given space) and sweet ("Thanks for setting up this chore  chart mom, it's really cool") and Ellie's are different variations of the same "I love you Mom" over and over again due to her more limited writing skill set.   They love the whole system and it's made the chore battles virtually disappear overnight.  Doesn't get much better than that.  I realize this honeymoon period won't last forever but I will enjoy it while it lasts.  Hope you can too! :)

Click HERE to go to the site.

Torte Di Pere

I don't share too many recipes here seeing as there are so many incredible culinary, gourmet-focused foodie blogs out there and so I tend to leave that stuff to the pros.  After all, I am far from a Professional Cook (oh how my family must be laughing right now....) but I do love to bake sweets.  I actually happen to be pretty decent at baking if I may be so bold, which is primarily because I also happen to have the worlds biggest Sweet Tooth *ever* and well, yeah, ergo I bake.  A lot.   

I came across this recipe the other day and instantly knew I had to try it.  By pure serendipity, I also had all the ingredients I needed on hand which meant I couldn't stall or procrastinate due to needing to run to the store.  Oh no, I could make this puppy RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.  And, so, later that evening, I did just that.  

And while the process was a tad bit more time consuming than I usually like to commit to on a school night, in between homework, packing lunches, making dinner and the usual array of after school/evening/bedtime activities, it was worth EVERY LITTLE SECOND INVESTED.    Yeah.   Really.    It's *that* good.    No, really.    Listen, you just need to make it, ok?!   You don't need any complicated ingredients.  It's heavy on the eggs and butter BUT I exchanged half of the flour with Almond Meal and the flour that I did use was Whole Wheat flour.  I also threw in 2 tbsp of ground flax meal to help make it a smidge more nutritious.  And I cut back on the sugar by 1/3 a cup.   But I did NOT cut back on the chocolate chips.  Sorry.  I have my limits.  And that is one line I will not cross while modifying recipes....  :)

For the record, I used three VERY large Organic Anjou Pears.  So yum.  

Here is an Iphone shot of it right after I pulled it out of the oven.   I gotta tell you, with a dollop of fresh whipped cream, it was in my top 5 desserts I've ever eaten and definitely the best dessert I've ever made myself.   

If you do try it, please come back and leave a comment here to let me know how it turned out!

CLICK HERE FOR LINK TO RECIPE!

A girl and her dog.

*sorry I've been a bit absent here, been very busy, teaching photography workshops, volunteering a lot in my kids' classrooms, building a mobile-device-compatible mini website (which is up and running now!) and attending to many other personal matters*

There is perhaps no greater understatement than to say my daughter loves her dog.    I may have mentioned here before how all of her in school assignments, classroom projects, class craft activities etc.. all revolve around Kooper.  Rare is the sheet that is filled out that does not have SOME kind of reference to her dog.  He is infused into EVERYTHING.   In fact, around Christmas time she drew a beautiful picture of Jesus right after he was born, the three wise men, Mary, the barn animals etc... and Kooper.  So funny!

Every month she gets to bring her journal home of the previous month.  The kids write in their classroom journal every day.  The teacher gives them the first part of their sentence and then the kids get to personalize the second half of their sentence with THEIR answer and then draw an accompanying picture.  While going through her December calendar I couldn't help but laugh because more than half of the entries were related to Kooper.  I've included a few here, as well as two non Kooper entries at the very end.    

I love these journals and I've kept them all, just as I have with Gavin's from that year (same beloved teacher!).  They really give you such insight into the child's personality, preferences and temperament.  I love that stuff!

 

Lillipops + Grace Designs

My regular readers will immediately recognize Jayme's work with the following Lillipops outfits!  It was complete and total serendipity that I happened to have three adorable headbands from Rosalind over at  Grace Designs that also needed to be photographed at the same time as Jayme's outfits and that miraculously, the three head pieces worked PERFECTLY with the three Lillipops outfits!  I couldn't have planned it better if I had wanted to! :)

Ellie had a half day at school so we jetted over to The Boardwalk and reveled in everything being closed and shuttered and there not being anyone there.  After my last shoot at the boardwalk with it being so CRAZY crowded, it was absolutely delightful to have it all to ourselves!  Granted, not much fun for Ellie seeing as none of the rides were open but she was in a very feisty mood and created her OWN excitement!  

In fact, she was such a little spaz that she didn't stop moving the entire shoot.  I think I managed to get her to sit still only for the close up shots, the rest of the time she was GO GO GO!  I sometimes think the term "working the camera" was created specifically with her in mind.  She is *such* a natural!   Cracks me up!

We had a really fun shoot followed by a special treat at The Penny Ice Creamery that was TO DIE FOR yummy.  All in all, a great day!

I quick word about Jayme and Lillipops.  I adore this gal.  LURVES her.  The outfits are always fabulous and she seems to always be on the cutting edge of things.  I decided this year that I would only work with a very small handful of creative designers due to time constraints and Jayme is one of those designers.   We make a great team!

(side note: another one of those designers that I LOVE working with is Julie of ZozoBugBaby and she just posted an interview with me on her Photographer Insight feature over on her blog, CLICK HERE to read it!)

The outfits that Jamie designed for Ellie, in order of appearance are as follows:  The In Bloom Blouse with the In Bloom Skort, then coupled with the Vintage Twirl Skirt and finally the Star Bright Dress.  The Blouse top has the most adorable flower button detail I have ever seen.  Ellie LOVED it!  So her!

 The accompanying hair accessories from Grace Designs are the Petunia in white wool felt, the Hydrangea in Pink Wool Felt and the African Violet Hair Clip in Crepe. Thank you Ros for the great accessories!!!

Here are just a few favorites from this shoot, I got so many of Ellie that I just loved, especially this first one which I plan to print and frame for the house!  My little goofball!

ZozoBugBaby's Peach Pleasant Set!

I had promised my friend Julie of Zozobugbaby a super duper fast mini shoot of this ADORABLE Peach Pleasant dress set so she could get it listed on her site as soon as possible. She overnighted it to me and the day I got the package in the mail, I picked up the kids from school, took Gavin to his Speech Therapy and (safely) RACED home to grab the last 10 minutes of daylight in our backyard for the shoot!

Ellie gave me five very playful minutes and then said: "I have an idea! Why don't I go swing on our play structure!"  I was faced with a dilemma..... I knew I only had 5 minutes (at most) of light sleft ince I was already shooting at 800 ISO and needed to keep my aperture at a min. of 4.0 in order to have the outfit completely in focus (unlike with portraiture work where you can shoot wide open, with most fashion shoots you need at least 4.0 so that the outfit is crisply in focus and not all blurred out) and with Ellie's constant movement I needed at least 1/200 shutter speed....  Plus, the backdrop near our play structure is pretty darn ugly.  And it's really dark back there too.   I really wanted to discourage her idea and redirect her to a better location/plan seeing as we only had a few minutes and then do HER idea AFTER I got the shots I needed... but, I decided to quickly think outside the box and find a way to accommodate BOTH our needs within the constraints of light and time...

So, I climbed up on the play structure and positioned myself directly above her while she happily swung beneath me.  At this point I was shooting at ISO 1600 and doing my very best panning! HA! :)  Near the end I had to bust out the flash.  Still, I'm delighted that I didn't follow my initial instinct to squash her idea just based on what would be easier for me, and instead found a way to incorporate her vision/desires into what our ultimate goal was: to get some cute shots for Julie!

Ellie loved this outfit so much she insisted on wearing it to school today.  I don't usually let her wear "nice" clothes to school but today was the one day of the week that she doesn't have P.E or running or any other dirt/stain/mud inducing activities so I let her wear it.  She literally skipped into the school yard. :)

Julie also created the adorable headband that went with the outfit! SO CUTE!  Here's the info on the set for those of you interested!

The dress can be purchased HERE and the pants can be purchased HERE.

THANKS JULIE!!!

Ellie busted out some serious disco moves here.  The funniest thing is the only disco dancing she has ever seen is when they do a disco routine on So You Think You Can Dance, and even though it's been months since she watched that show, she was doing some really cool and authentic disco dancing! I was quite impressed! :)

Happy Wednesday Everyone!!!

 

The Wright Brothers Book Report

Gavin chose a book about the Wright Brothers as his second Book Report of the year, this one needing to be a Biography.   The school assignment required both a written report/essay and an oral report delivered in front of the class with the student assuming the persona of their chosen person.  

Uncharacteristically, I lost track of time with this assignment with regard to the need for a costume (Gavin turned in all his paperwork on time though!) and with us being gone to the snow the weekend before he was to give his oral report, it just completely slipped my mind.  I found myself scrambling the night before his speech trying to put together a semblance of a costume for him.  I borrowed a white shirt from a friend, had him wear a pair of dark jeans that were still too big that I had bought on sale months ago from Gap (so I rolled up the bottoms), used a super cute tie he had on hand from ZozoBugBaby, and found a hat and suspenders at Kmart that night!  Talk about last minute scrambling!  So NOT me!  

Fortunately, Gavin was really into his character(s) and was able to really look like he had just stepped out of the early 1900's.  He kept tipping his hat to me all morning and cracking himself up.  We were running late for school that morning so I only had a couple minutes to grab a few shots in the backyard before rushing out the door.  So glad I did.  That boy is just delicious to me.  I want to gobble him up.  Even though he is 8 yrs old and would be absolutely mortified if I kissed him at school.  Luckily, he still lets me kiss him and snuggle him at home.  Phew!

By far, the best part of the whole day for me was when I asked him which one of the Wright Brothers he was going to be for the oral report in front of the class.  He said he was going to be Wilbur instead of Orville.  I asked why he picked Wilbur and he said it was because Wilbur was the one who went back home to take care of his mom during her long battle with Tuberculosis.   Awwwwwwwww.  Melt my heart, why don't you?! :)

 

Our weekend trip to the snow

This was Kooper's second trip to the snow.  He was definitely more mellow this time around than last time, when he was just a mere 4 months old but he was still delighting in the experience.  The kids, of course, had a blast.   I was battling a really awful cold and painful ear infection (made even more painful by the altitude) so it was a bit of a rough weekend for me but I soldiered on for the sake of the kiddos, not wanting to ruin the fun for them!

Because I was feeling under the weather, I only took a handful of shots with my CLPS (crappy little point and shoot) and didn't even bust out the "real" camera until the day we left.  I just wasn't feeling in the mood to do much of anything, much less lug around a big camera while trekking through the snow blowing my  nose every two seconds!

Here are few images from the weekend.  We hope to go back one more time before the snow goes away and hopefully this time I will have the energy to participate in the sledding and snowball fights!

Kooper was determined to try sledding no matter how much we tried to discourage him.  We kept pulling him off the sled and trying to distract him away from the sled but all that dog wanted to do was get on the sled and fly.  Since we wouldn't let him sled, his next best thing was to chase Jason and the kids when they were sledding.   And whenever Gavin biffed it he would run up to Gavin and pounce on him, licking him all over to make sure he was ok.  The funniest part is that the shots I got of that make it look like he is trying to EAT Gavin, with him hovering over Gavin and licking his chops... pretty darn funny.  Makes Koop look like a vicious animal!  Poor Koop.  So misunderstood....  :)

Ellie, Miss OCD, felt the need to line up snowballs along the railing of the deck at Uncle Phil's cabin.

The second day we had the opportunity to go snowmobiling (thanks Grandma Pat!) which we had done 2 years ago when Ellie was 4 and Gavin was 6.  It was a blast then and it was a blast again.  The kids just love it!  Predictably, Ellie (who was riding with me again) was the one to ask to go faster (even though I was already at the max speed limit) and Gavin was the one asking Jason to SLOW DOWN!  Gavin was definitely braver this time around allowing Jason to go over a few really bumpy areas without having to go down to 5mph.... :)   I love that boy!

The last day I bothered to take out the "good" camera and grab a few shots but they are pretty awful, due to splotchy light and me feeling pretty darn poopy.  So, work with me here ok!? :)

While the boys were sledding, Ellie was off quietly building her own snowman.  Anyone who knows Ellie knows how bizarre this is.  1) The girl hates being alone  2) She never does anything quietly.

Such a cute snowman she built!

With Jason, Kooper was even bolder and actually tackled him off the sled.

Playing in the snow is positively exhausting, isn't it!?  :)

Untitled from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

Happy New Year!!!

Wow.  Time is such an elusive, fickle matter.  It can easily feel as though it's flying by at dizzying speeds and it can just as easily feel as though it's crawling along, one ever so painfully slow step at a time, all depending on one's own perceptions, mood, activities and circumstances.  Of course, time itself continues to plod on at its regular pace, oblivious to our personal sentiments and feelings on the matter.

So here we are, at the cusp of closing out another year and opening the window on a breeze of fresh air called 2011.   I know I speak for many of us when I say 2010 certainly had its fair share of challenges and bumps in the road.  Some were just speed bumps while others were far more treacherous terrain.   I've had several close friends have to face unfathomable personal crisis and it pained me to not have the ability to "make it better" for them.  Some matters, like Cancer, are not quite so easily overcome.  (note to self: where did I put that magic wand!?)

Having said that, 2010 has also presented to us many joyful moments:  so many new, perfect little babies were conceived/born, so many small victories, so many grateful hearts, so many precious wonders to behold.

The New Year is usually a time of reflection on the past and resolutions for the future.  It seems it is a day torn between two places.  However, my resolution for 2011 is to focus more on the NOW.  To be more present.  To be more aware.  To slow down.  As best I can.   My life sometimes feels like a three ring circus and I'm always juggling more balls than it seems wise to attempt.  I occasionally drop some.  And while the consequences are rarely tragic, I regret having bitten off more than I could chew and then create a vicious cycle of frustration as I try to pick up those balls and put them back into circulation while still juggling the others.   The bottom line is, I'm not a professional juggler.  And as they say:  DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.  I am beginning to see the value in this warning.

I'm going to stop the juggling act, say NO more, quit over extending myself, continue to focus more on quality rather than quantity (and this is for all areas of my life) and just plain old lead a more balanced life.  

I'm proud to say that this past year was definitely an improvement over 2009 in that regard, so as long as I continue on track, 2011 should continue to be a year of more inner zen, more quality time with my kids, more devoted attention to those who matter most, and an even bigger commitment to a clear sense of perspective and undying gratitude for all my many blessings, however small. 

It's always easy to get sucked into that vortex of frustration, busyness and obligation which only leads to a constant sense of frenzy and chaos.  And even though I am a very skilled multi-tasker, I'm going to focus on teaching myself NOT to do five things all at once.   You know, maybe try to just bring it down to doing THREE things at once instead...  :)

I met many of my goals for last year but the joy in doing so was tempered by the feeling of merely "checking them off the list" rather than slowly savoring the accomplishment.  I want to savor more this coming year.  

I want more family DOWN time.  We don't ever seem to have that.  Truth be told, my favorite days of the year are the very rare weekend days that we spend lounging in our jammies doing next to nothing.  I can count those days on one hand for 2010.  And half of them were during this Christmas break.  We all need more of that.  It seems "downtime" is in short supply and perhaps even a dying "art."

In my single days I reveled in quietude.  I would spend an entire day reading.  My current life does not afford me such all day luxuries but I can certainly try to catch little stolen quiet moments from time to time, and I must train myself to seek them out and create them when they don't necessarily just present themselves to me. :)

There is great peace in living in the now, the ever evolving present.   The awareness that comes from shutting out all distractions (such as thoughts about past mistakes and concerns about future calamities) and instead just focusing one's attention exclusively on the matters (and people) which stand before us.

I know some of my happiest moments of the past year were during long hikes with friends (and our respective happy dogs, who might I add are PROS at living in the moment), or just alone (me and Kooper) running through the Redwood trees soaking in the sights, the smells, the sounds and the calming properties of the forest. The kids have even joined me on smaller hikes and we've so very much enjoyed them together.   It is in those moments that I feel most at peace.  A close second is snuggling in front of the fire with my kids and husband, watching a movie or reading books together as a family.

I want (need) more of that.  That is my goal.  Except I'm not calling it a goal.  Because I don't want to check it off any list. :)

What bring you inner peace?  What are your resolutions for 2011?  What have you learned from this past year?  Have you also found that during this time of turmoil and challenges, you find yourself even more grateful than you ever have been for every little blessing in your life, and even more aware of what is truly important?  

Share your thoughts and words of wisdom with me, I'd love to hear them. 

I wish you all a very joyful, blessed, healthy and balanced 2010.

*HAPPY NEW YEAR!*

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Last year was the first year in my entire adult life that I failed to send out a Holiday Card.  I was so busy finishing up last minute shoots and creating cards for my clients that I just never found the time to get mine put together, certainly in the way that I was used to doing them. (I used to put a ridiculous amount of time into designing and creating my cards, generally handmade, one by one).  Overwhelmed with the task of trying to get this done during my busy season, I just ended up letting it slide and didn't send out ANYTHING.  A few days before the New Year, due to MASSIVE guilt, I put together a little retrospective slideshow combining a selection of favorite still shots and mini video clips of the past year.  I emailed the slideshow to my friends and family and received an incredibly sweet and supportive response from everyone.  The best part was that Gavin and Ellie *loved* their slideshow and, in fact, still ask to watch it from time to time.  I decided then that if I couldn't get a card out for Christmas 2010 - which I didn't by the way - then I would try to do another slideshow.  And, hopefully, I could do this one in time for Christmas delivery rather than New Year's Day!

Well, it's definitely down to the wire, but I got it done before midnight on Christmas day! PHEW!

Here is my 2010 retrospective slideshow.  Bear in mind, it's about 15 minutes long!  So, if you do commit to watching the whole thing in its entirety then please grab a cup of coffee or something....  :)

Although I am sending it to my family and friends, it was mostly put together for my kids to have to look back on and enjoy one day.  I think these end of year slideshows are going to be my new annual tradition rather than the Holiday Cards, which just add stress on me during my craziest time of the year!  This is a much more fun, eco friendly, no cost, more comprehensive way of celebrating yet another year of the lives we are blessed to have together as a family.

May you all have a delightful Holiday season and best wishes for 2011.  :)

password for video is:  JoyeuxNoel

2010 Slideshow from pascale wowak on Vimeo.

 

Christmas Traditions

On friday night I was going through the big bags the kids brought home from school with all the cute little arts and crafts they made during the week for Christmas 2010.  I came across this little laminated gem in Gavin's bag.  I've posted a picture of the whole thing and then a close up of the essay to make it easier to read.  I really think it's worth reading all the way through but if you are short on time, just zone in on the middle section.  I just love Gavin's dry sense of humor, especially at a mere 8 yrs old.  He cracks me up.  I never knew this was one of our traditions but obviously it is to the kids!   I pretty much felt like a SuperHero after reading this.  Like I should be walking around with my hands on my hips and a cape flying behind me or something.  It's funny to get a window of insight into how your kids REALLY see you. :)

I am just today FINALLY starting my much coveted, much anticipated Christmas break.  And even though I have business related stuff to attend to, I get a full 8 days off with my kiddos!  I know how blessed I am to have this time with them and I plan on making the most of it!  Our upcoming week is jam packed and yet we still have plenty of downtime to bake cookies and watch movies and snuggle in front of the fire with homemade hot cocoa!  I CANNOT WAIT!!! :)

And seeing as the weather is forecasting 8 days straight of torrential rain, it's not like we have much of a choice either! Ha!  Going to make the best of it. 

I'll be posting here, just not as frequently.   And for those wondering, I have not yet sent out a Christmas card and quite honestly, probably won't.  So, if you are running late on that, don't feel bad, it could be worse, you could be me!!  (Never mind that I designed dozens of cards for my clients.....shame on me!)

Wishing everyone peace and serenity for this hectic week leading up to Christmas and Happy Hanukkah for those who celebrated it earlier this month.  

Take a deep breath and try to enjoy the small wonders this season brings with it. :)

 

Friends with benefits.

You know what happens when a friend comes over and brings her dog to play with your dog and brings Gingerbread House Making kits to make with your kids and sends you to your office to get a big project done?  You actually get it done.  In ONE sitting.  In 4 hours instead of 18 (intermittent) hours.

(Amy, you rock my world)

Here's the result of those 4 hrs.  It may seem ridiculous that it took 4 hrs to put this together but a tremendous amount of thought went into each image selection, its placement and figuring out the logistics of what would fit where based on the frame, the size, the space and the overlap areas.  It was MUCH harder than it appears, I assure you!!!  Plus, just trying to pick the images in and if itself was incredibly time consuming, not to mention making changes based on "sizing" issues and visual flow etc...  

And what is this you may ask?  This is going to be a printed mini poster board I will be putting on display at a special event to showcase my work.  I think it looks pretty swell.  :)

 

Goodies!

Christmas came early!  I ordered a sample 3 pack of these *adorable* custom accordion wallet sized 2011 calendars and I am IN LOVE!  They are so cute!  Very small (which means it does not take up much space in your purse) and a totally cute way to show off all those amazing pictures of your kids that we took at our session together!   Plus, they automatically come in a set of 3.  So, my thought was, 1 for me, 1 for the in-laws and 1 for my mom.  The perfect Holiday Gift for grandmas!

I have several different design options to choose from and can send you sample images of all of them upon request.  Then comes the "hard part", as you have to pick 12-15 of your favorite images from our session together.  Good luck with that!  :)

Send me an email if you want more info about how to order a set of 3 (or more!) for you and the grandma's in your life!

Here are images of the layout as I design it in photoshop.

And here are images of the end product!  TOO CUTE!